Cheaphammer40k: Da Skooderia Pt.3 – Wheelz! Scratchbuilt Warbuggies and Battlewagon

Finally, January is behind us and we’ve made it through our month of austerity with a couple of sweet little builds under our belts it’s time to get back to a pet project that’s been languishing under the heading of “wouldn’t it be cool to do X” for quite an embarrassingly long amount of time…

Da Skooderia Ferrorki! I’ll skip the back story (link here and here), suffice it to say this is an Evil Sunz warband who picked up some Warp echoes of ancient Terran racing and liked what they saw – especially the red cars!

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And who could blame them – they certainly weren’t impressed by the McLaren-Honda…

And thus was the concept for the Skooderia born. Back in 2015.

Yes, I know – I’m going with the excuse that I was waiting for my painting and modelling skills to mature sufficiently..

Anyway, with the help of Caesar’s line of Fantasy Orcs and the redoubtable Sgt.’s Mess line of Cold War Small arms, we’ve knocked together a decent amount of AK-47 and FN-FAL wielding infantry, but this post is about the vehicles – two warbuggies and a battlewagon.

Big Red, Red 5, and Red 7

The battlewagon began life as an ancient Airfix self-propelled gun picked up off eBay so long ago I can’t even remember when, decorated with cardboard squares for the extra bush armour, cardboard and cocktail sticks for the front wing and corrugated card for the tail wing (I suppose technically I should update it since I built it in 2016 and the F1 regulations have changed since then, but y’know…)

The two warbuggies started life as VERY ancient die cast Matchbox hot rods – I fished them out of a box at a car boot sale a couple of years ago there was something about them that just screamed “Orky”.

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Red 7 – driven by Kimi Rorkonnen, with Felipe Masha on the multi melta!

This one started life as a Morgan roadster – I added lashings of cardboard for armour, built the multimelta and mount from kebab skewers, with a bit of greenstuff rolled and dotted with hole from a cocktail stick to make the melta barrels. Kimi and Felipe are Caesar fantasy orks, cut down to fit in the cocktail and superglued – and because I’m an idiot, I glued them in place first… won’t be doing that again!

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Red 5 (centre) driven by Sebastian Metal – if someone can come up with a better Orky take on that name, let me know!

Red 5 started life as a dragster, and the exposed V8 and Mad Max styling meant that this HAD to be a Ork vehicle! He’s mounting twin autocannons (cocktail sticks topped with drinking straw muzzle brakes) and a couple of cardboard fins.

I should mention the rivets at this point – all seven gajillion of the bastards. These were little blobs of PVA dabbed on with the point of a cocktail stick and left to dry – actually not too time-consuming and they look quite good, scaling nicely and easy to pick out with wash & drybrush techniques.

Speaking of which – painting. I undercoated with cheap white spray paint then a cheap craft red (bearing in mind the wisdom of Duncan Rhodes two thin cats being better than one thick one), and then washed with Vallejo Skin Wash, taking away the crimson edge and making it a bit more orange.

Next up wash a pin wash with Vallejo Brown Ink, wet blended with Smokey Ink for the darker bits. Dab this on all the rivets too, don’t worry, the next stage will add the highlights.

For said next stage, I took the original red, mixed it with orange and drybrushed over the whole thing. I did two or three layers, each time lightening with yellow (NOT white, you’ll end up with pink – and we’re doing Ferrari, not Force India!) up to almost pure yellow with a very light drybrush.

I did the canopy on Red 5 wet blending turquoise up with pure white, and the metallics started from a black base, dryrbushed first with gunmetal and then very light silver highlight.

Kimi and Felipe were a bit of a problem – I went with a light green thin coat for the skin, washed with Army Painter Green Tone. Two washes got me a nice rich green, and then a very careful drybrush of light green mixed with yellow brought the highlights out. With models this small, I like to use washes where possible as it’s way easier to wash down a light colour than highlight up a dark one.

Bone colours were tan, brown ink wash, drybrushed with cream and then white for the final hoghlights.

THEN weathering – sponge chipping black and metal on the exposed surfaces before drybrushing the mud on, three stages of brown.

Phew! Thanks for bearing with me through this wall of text – hope it’s helpful to some out there. Now to close with some pretty pictures:

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Big Red awaits Ork crew..
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Kimi, Seb & Felipe charge into battle!

So the goal is concept to tabletop in under three years – will we make it? Next up, building a Killa Kan out of cocktail sticks, cardboard and plastic bottletops.. tune in next time to see how we get on!

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Terrain Talk Pt. 4a – Plasma Reactor (1 of 2)

 

January is Austerity Month here at Skinflint HQ, we’ve blown all our cash on gin, biscuits and Last Jedi tickets – so that means a hobby budget of £0 for the first month of 2018. But does that mean that we have to stop making stuff? Of course not – thriftiness is the mother of invention.

And in that vein, I grabbed the glue gun and ventured into the box of Interestingly Shaped Crap that all we gamers keep hidden away in the depths of a cupboard..

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A defunct lightbulb, a CD for a printer that’s long since gone for recycling, the lid from a box of Q tips, some straws and a few bit of card…

I knew when that bulb went that it was Too Interestingly Shaped to throw away (and as luck would have it, I had another one.. stay tuned) – it put me in mind of the Imperial Plasma Reactors from Dawn Of War, screaming to be turned into something sci-fi-esque… and pawing through my box I discovered the Q-tip box lid which could serve as a base/fuel tank/ reactor core, which set the basic shape in my mind. I used a mix of hot glue, tacky glue and polystyrene cement to attach these together (with mixed results, as you’ll see later on..), and then cut some drinking straws to size to function as power conduits/ coolant pipes. A good tip here – drinking straws have very little surface area for contact and glueing, so filling them with something solid is a good idea. I glued a bit of kebab skewer inside each one, meaning I had a decent contact area with the bulb and the lid. I then added a few bits of cardboard detailing to be a control panel of some kind, and trimmed a sheet of granny grating to create access ladders.

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Primed it grey, left it overnight in the shed while I wondered how the hell to paint it next.
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Roughed out a basic colour scheme… and then things started to go awry!

I wanted something that could serve as both an Imperial piece for 40k or Epic and a suitable clunky retro-sci fi piece that could conceivably be a part of a 1950’s superscience project, so I picked Vallejo Olive Drab for the base and body, a generic Boltgun Metal equivalent over  a black undercoat for the base of the bulb and the tubular part got painted blue in preparation for a cool forcefield trick I saw on a Warhammer TV post.

Unfortunately, I encountered a few problems during this phase – for a start, thinnning down my black paint meant that it refused to adhere to the primer.. and then, the water in the acrylic paints began to reactivate the tacky glue (which is just regular PVA with isopropyl alcohol added for faster drying) – meaning the model literally came apart on me!

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That went well.

So after much swearing, and a few consultations on Facebook, I (sorry Dan) slightly reneged on the “no money” pledge of January and bought some superglue and No More Nails, which seems to have done the trick.

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Inelegant, but stable
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Now we’re getting somewhere… (by the way, rivets are dots of PVA added with a cocktail stick)

After the initial colouring, I washed the olive drab with Army Painter Green Tone, pin washed the detail parts (rivets, ladders etc) with a homebrew wash of green and black paint thinned with water and detergent, then drybrushed up with Vallejo Olive Drab, lightened with cheap tan craft paint for highlighting. I added a few streaks and pin washed Vallejo Smokey Ink, and sponge chipped with grey, black and metallic for a weathered appearance.

Following Duncan Rhodes (hallowed be his name)’s advice, I created the forcefield effect by stippling on purple and light blue patches, before outlining the lightning patterns faintly in grey and going over them with white.

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I camouflaged the No More Nails residue around the base by painting it up as mud, highlighting up from dark brown to light brown – and here it is in situ:

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A fair few flaws in the detail, but not too shabby from two feet away.

Guarded by Squad Beauregard from the Hazzard 1977th:

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And there you go, a cheap and (relatively) simple scratchbuild! And now I know a little more about glues and paint… the next model should go alot more smoothly.

Hmm, famous last words. Never mind – till next time, stay thrifty and happy gaming to you all!

2017 – A Year In Review (and plans for the year ahead..)

January is a bleak month. Christmas decorations are down, work is back and you can’t start the morning drinking Buck’s Fizz without someone frowning at you.

Particularly the passengers that get on my bus.

Anyhoo, time to think about the year just gone and the year ahead.

2017 was not a great year in terms of gaming, in that we didn’t really play that many games – but the ones we did were pretty freaking great, including the biggest ever Apocalypse Earth battle and an Epic rematch. What this year was, though, was the year our blog grew up. Seriously:

2016 – 4095 views, 1897 visitors, 6 likes

2017 – 18,358 views, 10,297 visitors, 36 likes.

Woah. Just woah. That’s quite some improvement.

And it would seem that y’all out there have a lot of love for the dastardly Holy Soviet Empire – these three posts got over 1000 views each!

While 2017 may not have been too great in terms of games and battle reports, it was pretty great for us both in terms of painting and modelling, starting with the discovery of Wyloch, then Mel The Terrain Tutor and Lukes Affordable Paint Service. Honourable mention to Duncan Rhodes from Warhammer TV for teaching us the wisdom of two thin coats rather than one thick one!

So this led to a revamped board, a complete revamp of all our scenery, a repaint job on both Apocalypse: Earth factions, a cheapskate take on the 40k Imperial GuardOrk and Space Marine factions – we’ve been busy!

Incidentally, our blast markers seem to have caused quite a stir – I would put a tutorial together, but the entire idea was something I copped from Mel, check out his original video here.

So for 2018, what’s the plan? Well, life has a way of fething up your plans as soon as you make them, so we’re not going to get too carried away… but, some resolutions all the same:

Da Skooderia WILL hit the table. 40k in 1/72 is ON, yo.

We’re going to explore the other Apocalypse: Earth factions – it’s all been about the Atlantic Alliance and the Holy Soviet Empire so far, but there’s also the League Of European Nations and the Asian Communist Federation to check out.

Escalation is surely due in Epic scale as well, I keep seeing Dan looking at yogurt pots and  pictures of scratchbuilt Gargants…

We’ll also be revisiting Hyperian Wars and there’s a couple of other projects in the offing: Future Force Warrior takes Apocalypse: Earth 200 years into the future as humanity takes it first steps into the stars, and Apocalypse: Earth – Black Ops explores more detailed small scale encounters in the secret wars against the Greys, bringing an RPG element to the fractured world of the Apocalypse War. The rules will cover small scale skirmishes and role playing campaigns where your fireteam members will be able to develop, gaining new skills and equipment as they face ever darker and more sinister threats…

So, that’s what’s in the pipeline for the year ahead. However, it’s January – and that means we’re both skint. So a pact has been made – no spending money on hobby stuff for a month, we’re going to improvise and use what we’ve got… necessity being the mother of invention and all that… So let us leave you with a shot of what’s on the modelling table right now – two ancient battered Matchbox cars getting the Orky makover, because Da Skooderia are coming to town in 2018!

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How can he drive while holding an axe and a club? Because he’s Kimi-freaking-Raikkonork, that’s why!

Stay tuned, stay thrifty,  and let’s see what we can put together without cracking open the credit card….

 

Cheaphammer 40k! Scratchbuilt Imperial Armour in 1/72

Want to do 40k on the ultra-cheap? Step this way good sir & madam..

So, as some of you may be aware, recently we accidentally picked up a copy of 40k 2nd Edition in pretty usable condition, and along with knackered old copies of the mid ’90s codexes found in the loft we’ve been busy making both Da Skooderia and the Hazzard 1977th PDF into codex compliant forces. In both cases, this has necessitated a fair old bit of reorganisation, and in the case if the gallant PDF, some armour – in the shape of the trusty Imperial stalwarts, the Chimera and the Leman Russ!

Now, as is well documented, we use 1/72 (aka 20mm) as our mainstay scale, as the stuff looks good and is insanely cheap compared to the more popular 28mm, and also provides for a (slightly) bigger and more flexible battlefield. So even if we could afford the GW kits, they wouldn’t scale – what to do.. enter the noble craft of Paperhammer!

Some of you will be familiar with the incredible wealth of talent that is on offer from paper model designers like Eli Patoroch (and if you’re not, blogs like this are a great way to pique your interest), and both of these models began life as his templates, scaled back to 66% (GW is more or less 1/48 scale, 48 is 2/3 of 72, 2/3 is near as dammit 66%). In the case of the Chimera, it was a pretty straightforward build, but the Russ? Man, someone put a hex on that thing from the get go..

Some pics:

The Chimera – basic template build, with IDE cables for tracks and a hunk of sprue for the turret multilaser. I used a split pin through the turret base to attach it to the top of the hull, then built the turret around that. As you can see, one or two mistakes where edges didn’t quite line up – a little green stuff around the edges helped with that.

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Detail added – large rivets from 1/16″ hole puncher, smaller ones from dobs of PVA glue applied with a cocktail stick. Primed with cheap £1 grey spray primer
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My attempt at “underpainting” – prewash with black ink to enhance detail. Not sure it made any real difference in the end though..
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Basecoated with Crafter’s Choice tan (to match the infantry colour scheme). I followed the hallowed wisdom of GW’s Duncan Rhodes – “two thin coats are better than one thick coat”.
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Thin wash of Vallejo Brown Ink applied to bring out the detail, followed by a drybrush of tan paint and then another, lighter drybrush of tan mixed with white.
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Digital camouflage patterns (because I hate myself) – these are Vallejo Russian Green
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Matching the infantry, more digital camo blocks added with Burnt Umber and black craft paint

Shown here with an infantryman for scale.

Finally, weathering applied, including drybrushed mud and heavy black sponge chipping, and varnished.

Now to the Leman Russ – this build threw up considerably more issues:

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Basic turret and hull

Rivets added courtesy of PVA and hole punch once again, cannons and exhaust stacks a misture of drinking straws and cocktail sticks, chopped IDE cables for tracks… and this was where things first started to go awry – I wanted the sponson mounted lascannons to move, so I built the sponsons independently, then glued the small drinking straw (lascannon) to a larger diameter one placed inside the sponson, allowing them to move. The left hand one cooperated – the right hand one absolutely would not. I tried tacky glue, superglue, caulk, No More Nails, plastic glue, even greenstuff – eventually I had to wedge the bastard in there and coat it with superglue, so unfortunately this particular Russ has a slight manufacturing defect. There were also a few problems with the template – this was more sophisticated than the Chimera, and unfortunately when I shrank it.. I also shrank the instructions. So a fair few bits had to be scratchbuilt and guessed at.

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Basecoated with the same tan as the Chimera – for some reason the paint reacted very badly with the primer, and also with the hot glue that held on the tracks.. to the point where I had to lever the damn thing off the modelling mat when I came down the next morning as the tracks had detached from the body and stuck themselves to the mat!

Same digital camo pattern as the Chimera – but hell, there’s only two vehicles in the force so far, and it does look good…

 

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Washing, drybrushing, weathering, metallics – all complete, I take it out to the shed for varnishing and look what happened! My varnish turned into spray snow! Turns out temperature (VERY cold) and failure to shake the can enough where the culprits…
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Repainted, reweathered, revarnished and ready to lay waste to the Emperor’s enemies.. as long as they’re in 1/72 scale of course..

So as you can see, it took a while, and my Russ is owed some SERIOUS tabletop karma to make up for it’s difficult start in life! I’ll be doing a full Armies on Parade when the rest of the force is ready to roll, in the meantime (despite a few cockups), I’m quite proud of these two, and for all the issues I had building them it seems the build was no more difficult than your average Forge World kit..

If you haven’t tried Paperhamer, I thoroughly recommend it – obviously you want the real GW kit to do it properly, but as stand ins, proxies, units to try out before splashing the cash – there’s a huge amount of satisfaction to be had in cobbling something out of nothing.

Stay thrifty out there, see you soon!

 

 

Ooops….

We’ve all been there. It’s late, beer/ wine/ cocoa in hand, money in the PayPal account, browsing eBay… you find something that looks too good to be true, you put a bid on it thinking “what the hell”, the next morning you get THAT email:

“You WON Item no XXXXXX”

Ah, crap.

In my case, what I had won was this:

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Don’t drink and eBay, kids!

So I duly paid my £10 plus postage, and a couple of days later I was blessed with the arrival of a semi complete copy of the 2nd Ed 40k box set plus the Dark Millennium expansion. Now, I’m assuming the seller held up their end of the bargain, because I can’t remember the details of what I bid on, but what I got was:

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20 Space Marines
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Not awful, but I think there’s room for improvement – will bathe them in meths and have a go myself!
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A pair of Ork’s – one mostly ‘armless…
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Lots a’ Grots!
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What to do with you little fellas…
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A TON of cards- man, we hated trees back in the day!
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100% GW, 100% tournament legal!

Now, quite what to do with this unexpected new acquisition – we’re pretty deeply committed to 20mm as our scale of choice with a load of new scenery built for that scale, so the minis may remain display only.. suppose the Grots could be some sort of Ogre race, the Marines some sort of gigantic superhuman genetically altered superwarrior (hang on…), and the templates are all gauged for 28mm.

So we pondered for the length of a beer and though “F**k it, who cares?” – we’ll use the templates and our wee 20mm minis and run some retro mini 40k for giggles. A serendipitous rummage through the loft yielded up the  2nd Ed Guard and Ork codexes from the mid 90s, tattered but unbowed, so we set about tweaking the Hazzard 1977th and Da Skooderia to be 2nd Ed legal. Results will be posted over the next couple of months, and we’re looking forward to running some retro 40k with teeny models! And let’s not forget Apocalypse: Earth’s sci-fi spinoff, where humanity takes it’s first steps into a wider galaxy…. we can call this market research!

Stay thrifty out there, we’ll see you soon 😉

Terrain Talk! Pt. 2 – Hills

Once again, shouts out to Lukes APS, Mel The Terrain Tutor and 3T STudios here – they are responsible for teaching Dan & I what we used to make this stuff. Credit where it’s due!

So last time out it was ruins, now I’d like to share with you How I Build Hills…

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This was where I started – Good quality thin corrugated card, two layers glued together at 180 degree angles so the corrugation folds cross each other, helping prevent warping. On top of that – blue modelling foam (although for subsequent builds I’ll be using Celotex insulation foam, as that’s what my local Wickes have in store for FAR less money). I’ve carved two layers with a cheap DIY knife, glues them together using tacky glue and then textured using filler (spackle, for my American friends). Embedded in the filler are bits of masonry offcuts, mortar, a stick my dog chewed up, stones from the back of the garden and bits of gravel – basically anything with an interesting looking texture that happened to be lying around. Skinflint don’t pay for texture, yo. I then sanded down any rough edges, covered the thing with PVA, sprinkled it with sand and cat litter, before undercoating black with cheap £1 spray paint.

NB – make sure you’ve covered up the foam in texture or grit or something before you spray, because the chemicals in the spray paint will melt your foam..

Next stage is painting:

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Drybrushed up with the earth tone palette I mentioned in the last terrain post.

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After drybrushing a basic blue grey onto the rocky areas, I followed Luke’s APS advice and dabbed in a little red on the rocky areas…

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The next step was drybrushing successively lighter greys onto the rocky areas – again using the same palette of paints discussed last time. This helps homogenise your terrain and pull it all together, kind of the way comic book artists try to unify and limit their palette.

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Then flocking! Jarvis JFT01 is my main colour here, with JFT02 and 03 providing shade.

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Wet blended a little dust from my garage floor, spray sealed with diluted PVA, sprayed with matt varnish and it’s good to go! Nice and dramatic, and the Orks of Da Skooderia certainly seem to agree with me..

 

I’m genuinely pleased with this hill, particularly the rocky bits, and it’s not actually that hard to do.. so the old hills will be upcycled to match! Stay tuned for our final terrain post – the board itself…(dun dun DUN!) 😉

40k Mashup! 8th Ed meets Rogue Trader.. in 1/72!

Just over a month ago, Games Workshop – the company everyone loves to hate – rolled out the all new, super shiny new 8th edition. But this year also marks the 30th anniversary of the book that started it all – dear old Rogue Trader

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Thanks for stealing my childhood, you bastard

Those of you who recall this mighty tome will remember the scenario included towards the end (and may even recall the cut out counters supplied to play it with – yes, I’m serious!) – the now legendary Battle At The Farm!

For those not familiar with the arcane legends of the late 1980s, the Battle At The Farm was a surprisingly in depth scenario detailing the invasion of Rynn’s World, the untimely snuffing out of all but a fragment of the Crimson Fists chapter of Space Marines, with the fifteen surviving Marines and their leader Commander Pedro Cantor running afoul of an Ork patrol led by the devious Thrugg Bullneck and his sidekick Thrugg who have hidden a cache of jewels in the ruined farmhouse that the Marines have holed up in…

Now, despite buying the Rogue Trader book in 1991, I’d never actually fought this battle, and as it turned out neither had Dan, and so with GW making 8th edition core rules available for free online, we cobbled together some DIY Marines and recruited some Orks in from Da Skooderia to make up the forces we needed. In addition, I had my first dealing with blue modelling foam to make Bultha’s Rise (the low hill featured in the Ork deployment zone) and Dan attacked foamboard with scissors, knife and glue to create the farmhouse itself – shout out to Mel The Terrain Tutor and Luke’s Affordable Paint Service for their sage advice on terrain construction and painting (If anyone’s interested in seeing how we made them, let us know in the comments).

So, the order of battle:

Marines: 

Pedro Cantor – Marine Major Hero, power armour, refractor field, power glove, 2 bolt pistols

14 Marines – power armour, boltgun, bolt pistol, knife

Marine – power armour, missile launcher with plasma shells, bolt pistol, knife (and as events would show, serious visual impairment)

These were organised into 3 5-man squads, each posting a sentry. Pedro Cantor was  independent.

Orks:

Thrugg Bullneck – Ork Hero, flak armour, plasma pistol, bolt pistol, chainsword

Hruk – Ork Champion, flak armour, boltgun, boltpistol, knife

19 Ork Boyz – flak armour, boltgun, knife

These were organised into 4 5-ORk squads, one led by Hruk with Thrugg as an independent character.

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Marines cluster in the farmhouse ruins
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There’s trouble brewing…
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Two squads rush to form defensive positions, while Pedro leads the third squad in a flanking manoeuvre through the orchard.
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First turn’s firing – the only weapon in range is the missile launcher, area effect weapon needing 3+ to hit…  FAIL!! To hit ANYTHING!!
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Ork turn 1 – led by Thrugg, the whole force advances through the scrub towards the farmhouse, apart from Hruk’s squad who peel off to deliver a flanking manoeuvre of their own – no firing as everyone is busy charging (well, advancing) forwards…
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Marine firing turn 2… “Humie hates da trees, boss. Stay away from da trees”.. Crimson Fists missile launcher operator failing to cover himself in glory!
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Inside the farmhouse.. “HE’S RIGHT F**KING THERE! WHAT’S YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION MARINE?!?”
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Ork turn 2 – with bolters mostly out of range, Thrugg leads a sweeping advance while Hruk’s ladz try sumfink sneaky like..
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I said mostly out of range – one squad fires, downing a sentry – first blood to da Boyz! (Note – we were using Rogue Trader statlines, Toughness 3 and a 4+ save… Marines die pretty easily in this edition!
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Marine turn 3 – right hand  squad moves into the outbuildings to try and thin out the green horde… 
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Success! Sort of – one Ork Boy downed, as humanity’s finest finally hit something.
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Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day… and for once the Marine missile launcher accomplishes something!
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Pedro leads the left hand squad through the orchard.. 
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Ork turn 3 – Thrugg leads the way, icing a Marine with his plasma pistol, while the rest of the Orks advance
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Marine turn 4 – deciding caution is the better part of valour, the remaining defenders begin a tactical withdrawal
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Hruk’s squad falls as the Marine flank attack led by Pedro Cantor pumps them full of bolt fire
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Losses from the plasma missile prove too much for the Ork squad to take, fleeing the field (as per new 8th ed rules)
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Ork turn 4 – with bolters now in range, the boyz slow to fire their weapons, taking a toll on the defenders (including missile launcher)
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A Crimson Fist flees! The shame!!!
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Marine turn 5 – It’s lonely in the farmhouse now… the remaining three (!) defenders prepare to sell their lives dearly…
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But have no fear, Pedro Cantor is here!
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Marine bolters cause more casualties, and more Orks flee the field
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Ork turn 5 – Down to one last mob and Thrugg, but so close to victory, the remaining Orks wheel to face the Marine flank attack, dropping two Marines and wounding Pedro!
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Taking advantage of Thrugg’s distraction, another Ork flees the field
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Bellowing his defiance, Thrugg charges Pedro but super accurate overwatch fire from the Marine commander downs the Ork warboss!

And that’s that – with both Hruk and Thrugg out of commission, the Orks have no more chance to win the game. A wounded Pedro Cantor and his five remaining Marines have carried the day – just!

All in all a thoroughly enjoyable game, but 8th still suffers from the curse of IGO UGO… however there is a pleasing element of granularity with the weapons and statlines… in any case, we’re going to refight this soon using the prototype rules from “Future Force Warrior” – Apocalypse: Earth’s sci-fi sister game and see how that stacks up. Meanwhile, props to GW for making these rules available for free and happy gaming!

Surprise, Surprise!

Just checked the stats and discovered that our geeky little blog has passed 5,000 views just this year – 1,000 more than the whole of 2016! And given there’s a far few from foreign climes, they can’t all be Dan and me…

So this is a quick shout out to thank any/ all/ both of you who follow our seemingly unique combination of nerdiness and extreme thriftiness – peace be upon you all, and drop a comment to let us know what you’d be interested in seeing next!

Meantime, here are a few pics as a teaser for what we’ve got lined up this week to celebrate the first week of the school holidays (and Lewis Hamilton winning at Silverstone, hats off sir!) :

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Yep, we’re going to be trying our hand at 40k 8th Edition, Skinflint Style! Tune in, till then, stay sharp, stay thrifty 😉

40K Freebies!!!!!!

So, Jim is mired in a big painting project and has given me the keys to the blog this month – and it’s only right and proper that we give a shout out to the game we fell in love with many years ago  when the world was a more innocent place.. when Donald Trump was making pizza adverts and tweeting was an activity reserved for thrushes and a mobile phone was one that you had fitted to your car..

Anyway, we caught the tail end of the Rogue Trader era and the lovable crazy amateurishness of it, and we were both sold the (by the standards of the day) shiny and slick 2nd Ed.. now many, many, many years have passed and we are now onto the 8th edition of that “bloody waste of time” as our parents described it! After coming in for much criticism in recent years, dear old Games Workshop really seem to be trying a reset, slimming down and substantially modifying the rules for 8th and best of all? They’ve got them online for free

Seriously.

40k for FREE!!!

Obviously, it’s just the sketch out version to get you going, but you know what? That’s just fine. I’d love the Dark Imperium box set, but it’s £95. £95!!! For toy soldiers!! I have a kid – this is not a luxury I can justify.

Don’t get me wring, this is not an anti-GW pricing rant – lord knows there are enough of them – but a simple objective analysis that for alot of people, £95 (or £47.50, if you’re splitting the box with a mate) is a bloody hell of a lot of money. An awful lot of people don’t have that to spare.

“Aha”, you say, “but what about the quality, the sculpts, the IP, the design etc…” – to which I say fair enough. GW stuff is pretty darn nice, and I love the fluff at 37 just as much as I did at 12, but just as I couldn’t afford it on a paper round, I can’t afford it on a warehouse job with a kid to look after. And I get the fact that they have to make a profit, or it’s game over and no 40k for anyone. I’m not questioning whether it’s a good deal – £15000 for a Ferrari Testarossa is a good deal, but since I don’t have the £15000 it’s irrelevant.

So, hats off to GW for giving me and Jim a chance to play the newest version of the game that nicked our childhoods with an entry fee of £0. If either of us win the lottery, we’ll be sure to buy a f**kload of your minis to play it with – but in the meantime, we’ll be taking the DIY route. Thanks for opening that back up to us.

Now, pass me a deodorant bottle and some plastic spoons – I’ve got a grav-attack vehicle to make….

I’m Dreaming of A Green Xmas… Epic Space Marine Battle Report

The hive world of Hazzard, deep in the galactic south. A friendly and hospitable place, kept prosperous by it’s trade in lethally potent liquor to keep Imperial citizens in a state of blissful stupor.. and home to the Redeemers chapter of the Space Marines.

In the depths of winter, the world celebrates Emperor’s Mass – an ancient custom venerating the day that The Emperor (referred to in ancient Terran texts as Jesus, Santa Claus and Charlie Sheen) was born. Legend has it that on the Eve of this holy day, angels of the Imperium bestow gifts on every pious boy and girl…

But this year something wicked and evil grins on the horizon – licking it’s lips at juicy prey. The vanguard of a mighty Ork invasion force, WAAAGH-BOZZHOG, has made planetfall and an elite Redeemers strike force rushes to meet it…

2950 pts:

Space Marines:

Devastator Company – 1000 pts

Land Raider Company – 600pts

Special Card: Warlord Titan (Rocket Launcher, Laser Blaster, Chainfist, Quake Cannon) – 900 pts

Support Card: Terminator Detachment – 300pts

Support Card: Whirlwind Detachment – 150pts

Orks:

Slasher Gargant (Snapper, Chainfist, Observation Turret) – 600 pts

Goff clan w/ Gutrippa, Bonecruncha, Lungbursta & Skullhamma Battle Fortress – 1100pts

Evil Sunz clan w/ Gobsmashas, Mekboy Dragster, Bowelburna, Spleenrippa & Nobz Warbikes – 1150pts

(yep, straight away – in retrospect neither of us can drink, wargame and add up!)

Deplyoment:

Marines

I won the deployment roll and decided for the southern edge – that allowed me to deploy the Whirlwinds straight into the ruins of the Emperor Ascendant and onto objective 3. A task group comprising the Terminators and Land Raider company would take and hold the Astropath tower (objective 8). Two detachments of the Devastator company would deploy into the town front and centre, securing objective 2, while HQ and the third (Blue) detachment would rush forward and secure objective 4. The Warlord would deploy in between with the idea of supporting both groups and capturing the relay station (objective 1)

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Marine deployment along the southern edge, viewed from the western end.

Orks

Stuck with the northern table edge, I had slimmer pickings, so I decided to abide by the great Orky concept of concentration of force! Seeing as I had basically three manoeuvre units – the Sunz, the Goffs and the Slasher I kept things simple, massing my force on the western side of the table.

With their huge speed, the Evil Sunz would loop round the town and charge the astropath tower (objective 8), while the Slasher and the Goffs would pound up the middle, capturing objectives 1, 6 and 7 in the process and then administering the coup de grace to whatever Imperial forces were  unlucky enough to survive the Sunz onslaught!

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Ork deployment – Evil Sunz, Slasher, Goffs

Turn 1

Orks won the initiative, surging forward like a green tode. The Evil Sunz gunned their engines and raced forward, a motley collection vehicles enveloping the town in a flanking movement and making for the Astropath tower, while the Goffs uttered an almighty WAAAAGH and hurtled forward waving bolt pistols and knives in a furious onslaught. The Slasher moved forward in a somewhat more considered fashion, positioning itself strategically to cover objectives 6 & 7.

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The green tide rushes forward!

On the southern edge, Land Raiders gunned their engines and rolled forward to secure objective 8. Hulking Terminators leapt from the transports into cover while their Devastator brethren deployed in perfect formation from their Rhino transports to grab objectives 2 and 4.

 

Meanwhile, the Warlord lumbered into position between the two task groups

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Ineffectual firing from both sides took out a few Evil Sunz battlewagons and the Mekboy Dragster, but nowhere near enough to make a dent. The Imperials hunkered down for the inevitable onslaught next turn..

 

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Dispositions at the end of Turn 1 – Orks 15VPs, Marines 20VPs

Turn 2

Marines won the initiative and with pretty much the entire force on First Fire orders, we hunkered down and let the green tide come on..

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Evil Sunz orks envelope the task force guarding the Astropath tower (objective 8)
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First Fire defensive fire orders take a toll on the onrushing orks, but it’s not nearly enough..

For the most part, turn 2 concentrated on the Ork rush, Evil Sunz orks engulfing objective 8 causing heavy casualties to the Land Raiders and Terminators. Elsewhere, the Devastators picked off a couple of Goff lead tanks, the Whirlwinds stripped a power field off the Slasher and the Warlord and Slasher engaged in a fairly ineffective exchange of fire.

At the end of Turn 2, Orks lead 24VPs to 21.

Turn 3

We issued orders before checking initiative, having possibly gone A Beer Too Far – I banked on getting initiative and managing an orderly withdrawal, inflicting casualties on the Evil Sunz and luring the Goffs onto the guns of the Devastators and Warlord. Objectove 8 would fall, but we would regain it later.

That was the plan.

Then Dan won the initiative.

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Evil Sunz slaughter the Land Raiders and Terminators in close combat

The Slasher, on First Fire orders, pivoted and fired a ball round into the Devastator detachment holding objective 2:

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Before..
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After.

As their infantry engulfed the defenders on the Astropath tower, the Evil Sunz battlewagons charged the Warlord!

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Hoping for a miracle…
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….nope.
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The Imperial left flank comes to a sticky end

The Orks now held Objectives 1, 6, 7 & 8, as well as breaking the Terminators and the Land Raiders, putting them on 29VPs, but incredibly, the Devastators and the Warlord had caused enough damage to the Goffs to break them and the defenders of objective 8 had sold their lives dearly enough to break the Evil Sunz.. the Marines were on 39! 1 more and it would be an Imperial victory!

Turn 4:

Things were going to the wire this turn. A sole surviving Rhino sped off from the ruins of objective 2 to claim the empty objective 5 while the Orks were forced to swing their offensive to the left. The shattered remains of the Goffs moved to close assault the Warlord while the Evil Sunz regrouped and gave fire support and the Slasher loosed another ball round at the Devastators on objective 4.

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Surviving Devastator Rhino from Blue Group takes Objective 5
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Whirling melee as entire surviving Goff clan assault the Warlord
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Another ball round, another building gone, and the Devastators are one casualty away from breaking..
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After massacring the Goff infantry, a Nobz stand gets lucky – they penetrate the reactor and the Warlord explodes, wiping out everything around it..
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Apart from these guys, who dust themselves off, ready to head back to camp for a squig vindaloo and a fungus ale

Amazingly enough, however, my quick thinking Rhino crew had saved the day, taking me up to 44 VPs – despite the enormous casualties he’d inflicted, gutting my force, Dan could only muster up 37. An Imperial victory!

But to the sole surviving Devastator detachment and Whirlwind battery, as they faced the remains of two ork clans and an undamaged Slasher, I’m sure it didn’t feel that way…

A great game all round, kudos to Dan for playing Orks like they were meant to be played and damn near pulling off a win despite our poor maths! After a brief reflection and a deep resonant belch, Dan declared he accepted the result but felt he’d earned a moral victory, and frankly, I have to agree with him. The pride of Hazzard was well and truly mauled, with only three Whirlwinds, four Rhinos and seven infantry stands remaining against four stands of Nobz, five of boyz and a fully functioning Slasher. The Redeemer’s PR department have their work cut on this one!

Tune in again soon for more of our Epic tomfoolery, and here’s wishing you all a very happy Christmas and New Year!