We’ve all been there. It’s late, beer/ wine/ cocoa in hand, money in the PayPal account, browsing eBay… you find something that looks too good to be true, you put a bid on it thinking “what the hell”, the next morning you get THAT email:
“You WON Item no XXXXXX”
In my case, what I had won was this:
So I duly paid my £10 plus postage, and a couple of days later I was blessed with the arrival of a semi complete copy of the 2nd Ed 40k box set plus the Dark Millennium expansion. Now, I’m assuming the seller held up their end of the bargain, because I can’t remember the details of what I bid on, but what I got was:
Now, quite what to do with this unexpected new acquisition – we’re pretty deeply committed to 20mm as our scale of choice with a load of new scenery built for that scale, so the minis may remain display only.. suppose the Grots could be some sort of Ogre race, the Marines some sort of gigantic superhuman genetically altered superwarrior (hang on…), and the templates are all gauged for 28mm.
So we pondered for the length of a beer and though “F**k it, who cares?” – we’ll use the templates and our wee 20mm minis and run some retro mini 40k for giggles. A serendipitous rummage through the loft yielded up the 2nd Ed Guard and Ork codexes from the mid 90s, tattered but unbowed, so we set about tweaking the Hazzard 1977th and Da Skooderia to be 2nd Ed legal. Results will be posted over the next couple of months, and we’re looking forward to running some retro 40k with teeny models! And let’s not forget Apocalypse: Earth’s sci-fi spinoff, where humanity takes it’s first steps into a wider galaxy…. we can call this market research!
The hive world of Hazzard, deep in the galactic south. A friendly and hospitable place, kept prosperous by it’s trade in lethally potent liquor to keep Imperial citizens in a state of blissful stupor.. and home to the Redeemers chapter of the Space Marines.
In the depths of winter, the world celebrates Emperor’s Mass – an ancient custom venerating the day that The Emperor (referred to in ancient Terran texts as Jesus, Santa Claus and Charlie Sheen) was born. Legend has it that on the Eve of this holy day, angels of the Imperium bestow gifts on every pious boy and girl…
But this year something wicked and evil grins on the horizon – licking it’s lips at juicy prey. The vanguard of a mighty Ork invasion force, WAAAGH-BOZZHOG, has made planetfall and an elite Redeemers strike force rushes to meet it…
(yep, straight away – in retrospect neither of us can drink, wargame and add up!)
I won the deployment roll and decided for the southern edge – that allowed me to deploy the Whirlwinds straight into the ruins of the Emperor Ascendant and onto objective 3. A task group comprising the Terminators and Land Raider company would take and hold the Astropath tower (objective 8). Two detachments of the Devastator company would deploy into the town front and centre, securing objective 2, while HQ and the third (Blue) detachment would rush forward and secure objective 4. The Warlord would deploy in between with the idea of supporting both groups and capturing the relay station (objective 1)
Stuck with the northern table edge, I had slimmer pickings, so I decided to abide by the great Orky concept of concentration of force! Seeing as I had basically three manoeuvre units – the Sunz, the Goffs and the Slasher I kept things simple, massing my force on the western side of the table.
With their huge speed, the Evil Sunz would loop round the town and charge the astropath tower (objective 8), while the Slasher and the Goffs would pound up the middle, capturing objectives 1, 6 and 7 in the process and then administering the coup de grace to whatever Imperial forces were unlucky enough to survive the Sunz onslaught!
Orks won the initiative, surging forward like a green tode. The Evil Sunz gunned their engines and raced forward, a motley collection vehicles enveloping the town in a flanking movement and making for the Astropath tower, while the Goffs uttered an almighty WAAAAGH and hurtled forward waving bolt pistols and knives in a furious onslaught. The Slasher moved forward in a somewhat more considered fashion, positioning itself strategically to cover objectives 6 & 7.
On the southern edge, Land Raiders gunned their engines and rolled forward to secure objective 8. Hulking Terminators leapt from the transports into cover while their Devastator brethren deployed in perfect formation from their Rhino transports to grab objectives 2 and 4.
Meanwhile, the Warlord lumbered into position between the two task groups
Ineffectual firing from both sides took out a few Evil Sunz battlewagons and the Mekboy Dragster, but nowhere near enough to make a dent. The Imperials hunkered down for the inevitable onslaught next turn..
Marines won the initiative and with pretty much the entire force on First Fire orders, we hunkered down and let the green tide come on..
For the most part, turn 2 concentrated on the Ork rush, Evil Sunz orks engulfing objective 8 causing heavy casualties to the Land Raiders and Terminators. Elsewhere, the Devastators picked off a couple of Goff lead tanks, the Whirlwinds stripped a power field off the Slasher and the Warlord and Slasher engaged in a fairly ineffective exchange of fire.
At the end of Turn 2, Orks lead 24VPs to 21.
We issued orders before checking initiative, having possibly gone A Beer Too Far – I banked on getting initiative and managing an orderly withdrawal, inflicting casualties on the Evil Sunz and luring the Goffs onto the guns of the Devastators and Warlord. Objectove 8 would fall, but we would regain it later.
That was the plan.
Then Dan won the initiative.
The Slasher, on First Fire orders, pivoted and fired a ball round into the Devastator detachment holding objective 2:
As their infantry engulfed the defenders on the Astropath tower, the Evil Sunz battlewagons charged the Warlord!
The Orks now held Objectives 1, 6, 7 & 8, as well as breaking the Terminators and the Land Raiders, putting them on 29VPs, but incredibly, the Devastators and the Warlord had caused enough damage to the Goffs to break them and the defenders of objective 8 had sold their lives dearly enough to break the Evil Sunz.. the Marines were on 39! 1 more and it would be an Imperial victory!
Things were going to the wire this turn. A sole surviving Rhino sped off from the ruins of objective 2 to claim the empty objective 5 while the Orks were forced to swing their offensive to the left. The shattered remains of the Goffs moved to close assault the Warlord while the Evil Sunz regrouped and gave fire support and the Slasher loosed another ball round at the Devastators on objective 4.
Amazingly enough, however, my quick thinking Rhino crew had saved the day, taking me up to 44 VPs – despite the enormous casualties he’d inflicted, gutting my force, Dan could only muster up 37. An Imperial victory!
But to the sole surviving Devastator detachment and Whirlwind battery, as they faced the remains of two ork clans and an undamaged Slasher, I’m sure it didn’t feel that way…
A great game all round, kudos to Dan for playing Orks like they were meant to be played and damn near pulling off a win despite our poor maths! After a brief reflection and a deep resonant belch, Dan declared he accepted the result but felt he’d earned a moral victory, and frankly, I have to agree with him. The pride of Hazzard was well and truly mauled, with only three Whirlwinds, four Rhinos and seven infantry stands remaining against four stands of Nobz, five of boyz and a fully functioning Slasher. The Redeemer’s PR department have their work cut on this one!
Tune in again soon for more of our Epic tomfoolery, and here’s wishing you all a very happy Christmas and New Year!
Crikey, I blinked and I almost missed August! Well, we’ve been busy down here at Skinflint HQ, with a variety of different projects – so apologies, this might not be the most focused of posts, but there’ll be plenty of 1/72 weirdness to enjoy..
First up – terrain!
This is a tele-logistics hub for the Atlantic Alliance logistics corps – in the fluff, alien tech captured at Roswell in 1947 led to the Philadelphia Experiment a few years later, which failed in its original purpose but the side effects led to Alliance scientists mastering teleportation. However, seeing as the setting is the mid-1950s, we did’t want Star Trek-style transporters as that wouldn’t fit the story.. how could the world fall into an endless apocalyptic Second Great War if all Churchill or Eisenhower had to do was beam a bomb into the centre of the Kremlin?
So there are limits. A teleporter can’t transport live organic matter as the computers of the day don’t have the power to reassemble it, so it’s strictly limited to supplies. And you can’t just beam anything anywhere, there has to be a homing beacon set up – these beacons are known as hubs, and they are an essential part of the Allied war effort, far less vulnerable than conventional naval convoys.
So this little puppy is built from a variety of household junk – beginning with a CD spindle, and adding various bits of miscellania – the hoses you see are used guitar string cut offs -given a black undercoat, drybrushed with metallic paint and then details picked out and highlighted. It made a great objective in our last game!
Next up – Steampunk Fantasy WW1!
These are Airfix WW1 British infantry, to double as Grand Alliance Sky Marines for our steampunk/fantasy A:E adaptation, “Hyperian Wars”. They were part of an Ebay haul from a few years back.
Last year, I came up with the idea of doing an Ork warband for 40k in 1/72 – Da Skooderia and knocked together an army list from some old copies of Waargh The Orks.. Yep, the Rogue Trader era!
I’d always had a fondness for the Evil Sunz clan as a kid, the idea of red painted, greenskinned lunatics lurching across the battlefield in piles of junk held together by simple Orky will, so that set the initial feel. Red Wunz Go Fasta!
And what else is red?
And thus was born – Da Skooderia Ferrorki! Led by Warboss Enzo Ferrorki, along with Chief Big Mek Mikal Shoomorker, these vagabonds terrorise the southern sector of the Imperium (including the world of Hazzard… more on that another day!)
Now, finally, we have some minis!
Da Wagon! Based on an old Airfix SPG, lots of card and cocktail sticks and glue to make it proper “Hairodynamik”, like
Boyz mob, with multi melta
Close up of da boyz mob
Da boyz are Caesar fantasy orcs :
With greenstuff and small arms courtesy of these guys:
I haven’t played any editions of 40k past the 2nd, and frankly it’s appeal lies in the recapturing of a misspent youth, so I’m following the guidelines laid down in the original and classsic early 90’s/ late 80’s sourcebooks – Waargh Da Orks and ‘Ere We Go!.
Oh, and it’s going to be 1/72 scale, to fit in with my Apocalypse: Earth factions. I love the idea of taking some “Orky” looking WW1 and WW2 vehicles and running them as Battlewagons and Warbuggies etc.
I’m going for the Evil Sunz clan, as I want lots of ramshackle vehicles hurtling around the battlefield causing mayhem (and with a red theme, I can probably recycle them as Holy Soviet Empire beastmen if needs be) – and as an avid F1 fan, I’m planning a theme around the mighty Scuderia Ferrari!
In accordance with my skinflint ethos, I’ve done a bit of research and come up with a few ideas – Caesar Miniatures Fantasy Orcs will provide the basis for the infantry, which I will then bastardise with greenstuff. I’m thinking 1/72 Matchbox hot rods as the basis for the Battlewagons – you can pick these up for next to nothing on Ebay. A complete warband should set me back less than £15 and provide a hugely entertaining red and green tide to flow across an Apocalypse: Earth battlefield!
I have no idea how this faction will work with A;E rules, but I’m sure we’ll figure a way.. and my fluff is pretty solid, a detachment from my Epic Ork Horde Waaagh-Bozzhog, fell through a Warp wormhole to 20th century solar system, and their systems picked up the signals of the Mad Max films, 1980s Motocross championships and Sky Sports F1 coverage. Their Speed Freek Warboss decided that this planet (whatever it turned out to be) had to be worth a visit!
Their spacecraft crashlanded in the deserts of New Mexico.. (hmm) and now the Orks seek out the NASCAR races they saw so often on TV in their ramshackle ship…
1000pt Evil Sunz Warband for A:E
Warboss Enzo Ferrorki I – Power Armour, Bolt Pistol, Kustom Weapon, Bionik Bit – 81pts
Bigboss – Power Armour, Bolt Pistol, Assault Weapon, Stikkbomb, Bionik Bit – 51 pts (132)
4 x Boss – Flak Armour, Bolt Pistol, Assault Weapon, Stikkbomb – 100 pts (232)
Mek – Flak Armour, Boltgun, Kustom Weapon, Bionik Bit, Force Field – 45 pts (277)
Mek – Flak Armour, Bolt Pistol, Heavy Weapon, Force Field – 35 pts (312)