The Coming Of The Chinese…

“the Chinese have come in, with both feet” – such was the announcment at UN headquarters during the Korean War when it was discovered that Chinese forces were fighting alongside the North Koreans as the UN troops pushed up the Korean peninsular.

And it seems appropriate here, as the Asian Communist Federation (led by China, but including Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos amongst others) are one of the “Big Four” factions in the world of Apocalypse: Earth – much as in the real world, the Chinese in the A:E timeline spent the early part of the centrury battling Japanese invasions and each other before uniting under Mao Tse-Tung who was initially an ally of (and supplied by) Holy Soviet Emperor Djugashvilli, aka Tsar Josef I, (or “Stalin” to his mates).

However, the A:E version of the “Sino-Soviet split” occurred a fair bit earlier – after the initail Soviet invasion of Europe began to bog down and the Atlantic Alliance started to get involved supporting the European League nations, Josef I came to realise that even the Holy Soviet Empire didn’t have infinite amounts of soldiers and hardware, and began pressuring Mao to come into the war on his side. This backfired spectacularly and led to an ill-fated Holy Soviet invasion of China, with a Soviet combined arms army coming to grief on the Mongolian steppes (land war in Asia bad, who saw that happening?) and the Chinese uniting the Asiatic nations around them into the Asian Communist Federation…

Of course, just because they loathe the Holy Soviet Empire doesn’t mean they’re exactly best mates with the decadent round-eye Westerners of the European League or the Atlantic Alliance either, especially as plenty of those nations have colonies on what they consider their territory.. and so the stage is set for a truly apocalyptic war of everyone against everyone else, where nation doesn’t speak peace unto nation but more “hurls brick at other nations’ and calls their mum a slag”..

So after the Atlantic Alliance, Holy Soviets and European League have all got tabletop representation, it was high time to sort out the Chinese, being as we have now ironed out the kinks in the “2nd edition” rulebook and just need to sort the graphics before recruiting some of y’all out there for playtesting….

Here’s what we started with – 3 boxes of Caesar WW2 Chinese infantry:

We’re going with the idea of the ACF forces being very skilled light infantry, almost to the point of the Atlantic Alliance, but lacking heavy equipment and relying on strength in numbers.. and before the bots come in to say that we’re stereotyping, bear in mind that A:E is set circa 1955-56ish in this alternate timeline, and therefore is pretty closely modelled on the way the actual Chinese & North Korean armies fought in real life during the Korean War. Of course, they probably didn’t have Shaolin-trained monk assassins, but hey – it’s a game.

The ACF are largely infantry but obviously with this number of bodies, that’s going to take a while, but the armour contingent (based on obsolescent Holy Soviet designs… so that would roughly equate to WW2/ late 40s real world) painted up really quickly – two diecast T-34s (I think – that gun looks a bit more impressive) and two diecast BTR-152 APCs picked up at The Works (kind of a discount/ dollar store place spcialinsing in art supplies & kids books & toys, for our non-UK friends). These were pre-painted, so all they needed was a few washes of Vallejo Brown & Smokey Inks and a drybrush of bone craft paint, before some heavy sponge chipping (practicing ideological purity of thought doesn’t leave much time for maintenance) and then hit them with some DIY textuire paste made from PVA, brown paint and sand, mixed up and applied with an old brush to represent mud.

And here they are, ready to defend the pure, TRUE vision of international communism/ socialism/ political correctness:

BTR 152s

True equality means never having to wash your car

T-34? Or IS-2? Or a bit of a bodge of both?

So, with regard to playtesting, who fancies having a crack? The more brains we get on this, the better the end result will be, as there’s inevitably going to be stuff that me and Dan failed to think of – if anyone out there in hobbyland fancies giving it a try, let us know and we’ll email a PDF over to you… and when we get this out and released, the idea is to send 20% of all proceeds to Ukraine, so drop us a line!

Apocalypse Then! Apocalypse: Earth Battle Report

The fan overhead beat rhythmically, echoing the antigrav pulse of the ubiquitous Silverbug engines. Alone in his bunk, Lt. Grant found it hypnotic. He’d been on this new assignment a week now – getting softer, getting weaker.. while out there, the Russians and Chinese only got stronger. He understood now why McAuliffe took solace in whisky – what else was there to do, when peace was just a dream.

The next thing he knew, he was being held under a freezing shower by two MPs. Clean shaven and with his most presentable fatigues on, he struggled not to sway as the Colonel briefed him.

Reading through his notes, Grant couldn’t believe they’d given him the right file. The officer they’d named had been a paragon of anti-Soviet resistance, even volunteering for and passing out through Foreign Legion training at age 38. Grant buried his resentment at the mission as best he could – but his platoon sergeant had no such reserve.

“We’re short and they want to take us upriver to kill a friendly? God F*CKING damn it! I thought you were going up to blow up a bridge, or some railroad lines? Ruskies and Chinese are piling in across the borders every day and we’re supposed to go kill our own goddamn allies?”

Grant gritted his teeth. “This is my task force. We put this thing down where we need to and do what it takes to get the job done.”

Mac looked hard into his Lieutenant’s eyes. “Sir. Yes sir.”

Out on the landing fields, Grant watched the surf crashing against the beach, squinting against the low morning sun. Behind him the familiar pulse of antigravity boosters boomed out as the Silverbugs roared to life, the smell of ozone and cordite wafting across. In spite of himself, Grant couldn’t help but smile, he loved that smell first thing in the morning. It smelled like… victory.

Off we go again with another Apocalypse: Earth Summer Smackdown! Hard on the heels of seeing what Dan can do with a soap dish and a biro, it’s time to put our newly reinforced League of European Nations forces to the test.. and a certain LoEN colonel, deep in the Southeast Asian jungles of an unnamed European protectorate has gone certifiably off his rocker, creating a new wonder weapon with the fruits of espionage on the secret Atlantic Alliance antigrav programs… and the Alliance need to get the situation under control! So who else but Buffalo 2-7, reconstituted after their encounters with a zombie horde and a couple of time warping, reality-bending scraps not to mention their heroic defence of Faslane naval base, to do the job?

Facing the boys would be Kampfgruppe Kurtz, a renegade LoEN colonel commanding Lt. con Hulkenberg’s platoon of regulars including their 88Gw laser cannon, a territorial platoon (not shown you them yet), a squadron of Jaeger tank hunters, Ocelot light tanks and of course the brand new Haunebau.. eagle eyed observers might notice our “Stargate” terrain pieces and a certain piece of wonky looking tech that’s got a flash new paint job! Both sides would deploy along the short edges of the 6×4 table.

Buffalo 2-7 deploy, armour to the fore, skimmer units and Rocketeers set up a flank manoeuvre

Been a while, hasn’t it lads?

Ze Churmans, caught under Kurtz’s spell, rush to meet them!

The Atlantic Alliance win the initiative, first shot from the lead Centurion demolishing the 88Gw laser as the rest of the LoEN force holds out in cover trying to weather the storm..

Alliance forces push forwards at top speed across the exposed open ground, infantry taking cover wherever they can

Haunebau makes its’ debit! And although the plasma cannons are laughably ineffective against the target M60 Centurion, those twin linked machine guns take a terrible toll on the Allied infantry

The state of play after Turn 1- note the burned out M60, a casualty of combined Ocelot laser cannon fire.. on the opposing side, one Ocelot destroyed and another one with a laser cannon blown off.

It had to happen – boosted by a few Command Points spent on her, Silverbug shreds the Haunebau powerfields with her Avenger cannons and demolishes it with Stinger/TOW ADATS missiles! Still, at least it lasted a turn…

Surviving Ocelots attempt to light up another M60…

Kurtz’s HQ section manage to target the underside of the lead Silverbug and manages to penetrate it’s armour, causing a catastrophic explosion! Wingman arrives and scythes through the Jager squadron..

With their armoured assets mostly stripped away by murderous Allied fire, von Hulkenburg gathers his platoon in cover preparing to counterattack the Allied infantry assault

The surviving Ocelot prepares to go down swinging..

Struggling to target von Hulkenburg’s regulars, the Allied APCs absolutely ventilate the territorials up on the hill guarding the objective

The jaws of the Allied trap begin to shut..

Rocketeers vault up onto the clifftop and massacre the Territorials at close range, suppressing them

However Territorial HQ wreaks a terrible vengeance!

Despite the panzerfaust operator being unable to hit the side of a barn door, concentrated rifle and machinegun fire manages to cripple the two Humvees trying to flank von Hulkenburg’s regulars

As the Allied noose draws tighter, von Hulkenburg’s regulars knuckle up on the objective with the remains of the Territorial platoon

But they’re not quick enough as the minigun armed Humvee (bolstered by ALL my Command Points this turn) catches them out in the open, massacring a rifle squad and all Kurtz’ staff!

A last ditch effort by surviving LoEN assault troopers land in by jump pack and massacre Bravo squad

An M113 draws a bead on Kurtz with a grenade launcher and two LMGs..

Surviving Silverbug massacres the Territorial HQ

It’s been a hell of a scrap!

Surrounded by the Atlantic Alliance Command Element, and wounded by the M113, Col. Kurtz is helpless as Grant icily draws a bead and pumps three rounds at close range into his head…

The first round hit home. “For my men”
The second round hit home. “For von Hulkenburg”
The third round hit home. “For me”

Looking down at his foe, Grant saw him mouthing something. leaning closer, he could just faintly hear.. “The horror…. the horror..”

The Big One Pt.3 – Conclusion!

(NB – If you’re new here, go check out Parts 1 & Part 2, because otherwise NONE of this is going to make any sense…)

As we left matters at the end of turn 2, the central valley was awash with (now largely dead) Ratmen, but the objective – the crashed spaceship – was now in the hands of a regiment of humble Virum Nascii slaves and heading towards the Baddies’ table edge, and to make things worse the sorcerous cabal of the People’s Front Of Hazzard 237th Freedom Brigade had managed to conjure up a wall of psychic fire across the main approach route!

On the Goodies’ side, the PSLA (or Imperial Guard, depending on your viewpoint) finally showed up, adding a decent chunk of firepower, but as things stood, firepower was not the issue, we had plenty of that – getting it where it was needed was the problem!

Over on the Baddies’ table edge, Dan cackled malevolently as the Holy Soviet Army’s BIG GUNS appeared, in the form of Stompy Uncle Joe and the IS-6 Rampager (which would prove itself almost offensively useless, but there we go) and another regiment of Orcs arrived, but two more still languished on the sidelines – clearly too thick to find the batlefield.. and off we went for the next turn!

Turn 3 –

Baddies’ reinforcements – Stompy Uncle Joe turns up in the power station, the Rampager in the centre with another block of Orcs, and pay attention to the regiment of Virum Nascii Warriors top left- they’ll be important later on….

Goodies’ reinforcements hit the beach! The Guard arrive, along with the (literal) cavalry from the Ancien Regime, as well as the rest of the League Of European Nations troops

The Baddies secure the initiative and opt to move first – Virum Nascii Vrilseers conjure up a hole in reality for the Slaves carrying the spaceship to jump into, but it goes awry, scattering toward the power plant

Atlantic Alliance Silverbugs race forwards, gunning down Virum Nascii slaves and suppressing them

Just as her crew was readying to immolate the advancing Sky Marines, Inferna is riddled with Stinger TOW ADATS and Roswellium-tipped cannon rounds, exploding spectacularly!

Ancien Regime grenadiers finish off the remaining Ratmen in the valley, being reduced to just three men in the process!

Although the Virum Nascii slave regiment is now suppressed and unable to move, No. 2 Rifle squad picks up the spaceship and begins to move back towards the Baddies’ table edge!

A strong roll of Baddie activations sees the IS-6 Rampager managing to knock down a chain link fence, but despite twin 140mm cannons, two heavy and four light machineguns…. that’s all it accomplishes…. meanwhile the Orc Archer regiment picks up the crashed spaceship and hands it over to No. 3 Rifle squad who move further back toward the Baddie table edge – a very skilful hand of “Pass The Spaceship” by Dan!

Newly arrived regiment of Orc Warriors politely thank No. 3 squad and make off yet further with the crashed spaceship!

Although almost all of the Virum Nascii are dead by this point, a survivng Vrilfire rifle team manages to take down two Jagers! Such is the curse of the newly painted model…

Desperate to clear a path through to the rapidly disappearing objective, the M42 Stealth Tank decloaks and twin autocannons lay waste to Da Skooderia, leaving only the Warboss…

… who then rolls Frenzy, clearly thinking “Sod it – WAAAAAGH!!!” and charges straight up to engage Buffalo 2-7s HQ, killing Lt. Grant before Platoon Sgt. Mcauliffe finishes him off!

The surviving T-48 swings into position to block off the valley – between the wrecked vehicles and the wall of psychic fire, there is now no way through for the Goodie troops, it’s all down to the Rocketeers and Silverbugs..

… and then from out of the power plant comes Stompy Uncle Joe, the massive Soviet war mech immolating a Silverbug with his lightning launcher (taking out a Virum Nascii vrilrifle team as collateral damage, but hey)

The Goodies are throwing everything they’ve got in an attempt to force a passage – on the left the Sky Marines are advancing briskly through the hills to take on the remains of Da Skooderia, while Crimson Fists supported by a Centurion hammer at the centre, but the Baddies are getting away…

Remember the Ratmen warrior regiment from earlier? Well so did the PFH 237th’s cabal of sorcerers, successfully managing to teleport it in base to base contact with the Orcs currently carrying the spaceship..

With the dice gods smiling on him, Dan then successfully activates them (being teleported doesn’t mean they’ve had a turn yet) and they shoulder the spacecraft – then leg it straight off the board! It’s a firm victory for the Baddies!

So there you have it, a very smart Hail Mary play with a little luck on his side and my opponent snares victory! In fairness, had Dan not had the luck he would have won the next turn anyway, there was no way I was going to be able to get enough firepower into position to stop his troops running off with the objective. He damn near won at the start of turn 3 anyway, as the Virum Nascii Vrilseers created a reality tunnel for the Slaves to jump in to – had I not got lucky with it scattering, and not managed to suppress them, he would have had it in the bag right then.

Thoughts? Well, I think I did my usual trick of playing it like a straight up battle where the objective was to destroy the opponent – Dan on the other hand actually played the scenario… which was even more galling because I wrote the scenario!!! Reviewing the battle, he played very cleverly, and with all the ruthlessness that befits a Baddie general – the sacrifice of the Virum Nascii “rat bombing” me on Turn 2 and using the tough-as-nails Skooderia units to stymie me in the centre, then blocking the valley choke point with a psychic fire barrier… well played, sir, well played!

Right, after that MAMMOTH battle report I shall be handing the keys over to my colleague and going and lying on the sofa with a wet flannel over my head and quite possibly a large gin on standby…

Stay safe, healthy and thrifty out there wherever you may be in hobbyland, we’ll see you very soon!

The Big One Pt.2 – To Battle!

And thus was battle joined… We’ve decided to split this report across a couple of posts due to the sheer size of the game and therefore the length of time posts take to write… with this one, there’s every chance you wouldn’t be hearing from us again this side of Christmas! Anyway – enjoy the first two turns:

Turn 1 –

Goodies – most of the Atlantic Alliance, all the Sky Marines and the Crimson Fists arrive.

Baddies – most of the Holy Soviet Army (but no IS-6 or Stompy Uncle Joe), Da Skooderia, most of the PFH 237th arrive.

Goodies bag initiative and get the first few shots off – a Silverbug glides forward and looses off a pair of Stinger/TOW ADATS missiles at the lead T-48s

This blows the cannon off one tank and severs the fuel line of the second, which is quickly finished off by a salvo from the Avenger cannon. First blood to the Goodies!

Holy Soviet Army troops wait for the signal to move alongside the Orcs of Da Skooderia

Elements of the People’s Front Of Hazzard 237th Freedom Brigade shelter in place in the Skalk Point plasma generator station. Creighton light assault vehicle on the extreme left.

Crimson Fists deploy from their APC to secure the objective while Da Skooderia leadership deploy forward into cover

Crimson Fists lose two commandos to fire from the Holy Soviet Army No. 1 Rifle Squad…

Reaction fire downs four Soviet riflemen, but the Russians hold fast under the gaze of their Commissar

Mobile units on both sides sprint for the objective

Lethal fire slaughters Soviet riflemen caught in the open, immobilising and cutting the fuel line on the assault gun

On the Goodie’s left flank, Grand Alliance Sky Marines advance through the heights above the beach

Expert sniping from the Milibandalorian boys deployed on the roof of the command centre annihilates Bravo squad in a storm of plasma!

A superb long range Stinger/ TOW shot from combat support bot (top left) arcs and twists through the trees ,immobilising the 237th PFH’s Creighton tank!

Having been lurking out of sight in the power station, another T-48 roars out of cover and demolishes an M113 with it’s main gun, although fire from it’s machine guns patters harmlessly off the Crimson Fist’s power armour

“Comrade, was that tree always there?” – M42 Stealth Tank performs its’ party trick

The situation at the end of Turn 1 – Goodies command the objective with a single Crimson Fist squad, but have lost two of the elite troopers, plus an M113, damage to a Silverbug, as well as all of Bravo squad and the RTO. Meanwhile the baddies have lost almost all of No. 1 rifle squad, a T-48 and 3 more damaged.

Turn 2 –

Goodies – most of the rest of the Atlantic Alliance bar the two Humvees, League of European Nations – HQ, Jagers, infantry, Ancien Regime rifle regiment & Steam Tank

Baddies – More Soviet infantry, Orc Archers, and as you’ll see, the bulk of the Virum Nascii…

Allied reinforcements hit the beach, but look at the top of the photo….

ALL THE RATS!!!!!!!!! Turns out, Dan had had the plan for this ever since we wrote the rules for the Virum Nascii special weapons teams – the Vrilgrinder teams had been steadily tunnelling through reality itself and as a result they were able to deploy right on the objective, swamping the Crimson Fists lead fireteam and Pedrov Kantrov!

Silverbugs let loose their weapons and arch away from close assault range, Avenger cannons downing three plague priests..

Stinger/ Tow ADATS missiles blow the heat cannon off the Creighton

The Rocketeers throttle forward to try and help the embattled Special Forces team but the rats achieve Frenzy and tear the elite SAS troopers apart!

Said Ratmen are promptly immolated by a plasma missile from the Crimson Fists! The survivors pumped full of heavy calibre explosive rounds

“There’s too many!”

Swamped by Virum Nascii from all sides, even Pedrov Kantrov can’t hold out!

While the Goodies are distracted by the whirling melee, massacring Ratmen right left and centre – a regiment of humble Slaves pick up the objective and start to leg it back to Baddie lines

Atlantic Alliance M113 darts forwards, machine guns pouring fire into the Slave regiment with the spaceship, killing 7 slaves and suppressing them

More Virum Nascii Slaves swarm the Allied infantry on the heights, wiping out Delta squad but dying to a rat in the process..

Kimi Rorkonnen brings Red 7 into play, his gunner Felipe Masha unleashing the heat cannon onto an Allied M60A3 Centurion, blowing the turret off!

Virum Nascii special weapons teams come into play, Vrilrifles damage an M113 pursuing the Slaves carrying the spaceship – immobilising it and blowing a machinegun off it

The second team blow up an M60A3!!

Jagers Marsch!

Cobra missiles from the Jagers demolish Red 7, adding to the utter carnage in the central valley

Ze Churmans are heavily in the fight, 88mw laser destroying Da Skooderia’s battlewagon…

But the sorcerer cabal of the People’s Front Of Hazzard have managed to conjure up a psychically induced wall of fire across the entrance to the ruined town!

The view from the Goodie lines as Turn 2 ends…

Utter carnage in the centre!

Utter chaos as we try and work out who’s winning….

Charles LeclOrk in warbuggy Red 16 surveys a scene of utter bedlam and devastation…and most heartily approves!

So that’s the end of turn 2 and despite monstrous casualties the Baddies are in a good position… they’ve got the downed spacecraft and are scuttling back to their table edge with it, and the main route for the Goodies is largely inaccessible due to wrecked armour and magic fire… what adventures will turn 3 bring?!? Stay tuned, stay thrifty, and stay healthy and safe out there, we’ll be back soon!

The Valiant Conundrum

We live in strange and confusing times. Fake news, claims and counter-claims.. it seems like everyone has an agenda these days and it’s hard to know who to trust. But here at Skinflint HQ, we strip away the opinions and get straight to the facts, to answer the burning question so many of you want answered.

Just how well do Valiant Miniatures’ “heroic 20mm” WW2 miniatures scale with 40k figures?

I set out to find out – inadvertently ordering a full box rather than the single sprue I had planned to, but not going to argue with the results, 65 figures for £14.95! So maybe that Imperial Guard army you fancied doing isn’t so far out of reach?

I had actually got something slightly different in mind (assuming the results of my experiments were up to par) – we’ve already got the Guard for 40k in 20mm, and just doing the same thing in a slightly different scale seems a bit pointless to me (not to say we won’t do that at some point, but still) – I had actually planned to build a Levy platoon for Firefight, to work through the campaign in the rulebook, probably for a bit of Deadzone too, and I was planning to give them a bit of a “Colonial Marines” kind of vibe to try out another lost system from the 90s… more on that another day!

For my test figure, I based one of the little guys (late WW2 German infantry) on a 25mm round base, and after having drawn inspiration from this thread on TMP, I started to sci-fi him up a bit using card, superglue, granny grating (thanks Dan!) and greenstuff. He got a visor for the helmet (cardboard – this got knocked off during the conversion process and forgotten about, whoops), some body armour over his tunic (cardboard again), a greenstuff facemask – in the grim darkness of the far future, it pays to be COVID-secure – and some granny grating to turn his Mauser rifle into a lasgun/ pulse rifle/ autogun.

Mask, as is de riguer these days…

Body armour and knee pads

Upgunned with granny grating

Next step was basing – a bit of filler to smooth over the lip where the mini joins the base itself, followed by Ye Olde PVA & Sand mix, then a spray with white primer and a thin Smokey Ink wash. I’m not sure this really has an effect on the shading, but as I get older and my eyes start to go, this is really helpful to outline which bit is where on the miniature.

And the result:

Now we’re getting the 40k vibe..

I took my cue from the “Aliens” and “Avatar” films for the paint job, going with a craft tan base coat and a digital (ish) camo pattern using Army Painter Goblin Green, Vallejo Russian Green, Olive Drab and German Grey, all unified with a thin Smokey Ink wash and a very light bone drybrush.

I’m pretty happy with the result, he’ll do well for Firefight once he’s got his mates with him and he’s generically sci-fi enough to work in a variety of settings. And I’ve got 64 friends for him, all for under £15!

And now the answer you’ve all been waiting for – here he is with some 40k minis, an Ork, a Gretchin, most of an RTB 01 Marine and the Genestealers of Hive Fleet Imprudens:

As you can see, he looks pretty good – I think he works as a “true scale” human, he’s a bit puny looking compared to the Ork, but that’s kind of how it should be.. he’s taller than the Gretchin but much less imposing than the Marine, and that again is how it should be. So maybe those folks looking for “true scale” Marines are missing the point, the actual way to go is to downsize the humans?

Anyway, that’s it for now, I’ve got a LOT of superglueing to do to build a platoon of these guys! Stay safe and thrifty out there, we’re getting there now….

Grimdark Future Fight Club! Game 1 – Crimson Fists Battle Brothers v The People’s Front of Hazzard Rebel Guerillas

Despite lockdowns worryingly close by, our little corner of Leicestershire is still open for business, and we’ve decided on a little mini-tournament/ league type thing. Using 1000 point armies and the excellent One Page Rules’ Grimdark Future games system, we’ve set up our own little Fight Club!

Right now it’s just GDF, but we will be using this for Future Force Warrior to tidy and develop that system a little, and I dare say 9th and/ or 2nd Ed 40k will be making an appearance. League standings will be posted on the homepage and quite possibly we’ll be doing a Fantasy version – Age Of Fantasy, Age Of Sigmar, and Hyperian Wars.

Back to our first game though – the first rule of Fight Club is “don’t talk about Fight Club”, but the second rule is “everyone who is new, fights”. Seeing as the Crimson Fists were still on the table from The Battle At The Farm the other day, I took them and their papercraft Rhino to make a 1000pt force, and Dan rolled out with the People’s Front Of Hazzard 237th Freedom Brigade.

Dan won the roll off and opted for the wooded side of the table – quite thematic, the rebel scum lurking in the forests – while my Battle Brothers deployed as I planned to use them, one squad in the ruins with the missile launcher (the Brothers’ only heavy weapon) while the main body of the force deployed in their Rhino transport ready to punch forward and engage the puny guerillas in melee, led by Commander Pedro Cantor with his jump pack and power fist.

The battlefield

Battle brothers missile launcher squad positioned to cover as much board as possible – in GDF you alternate deployment, and Dan, the clever bastard, made use of his numerical superiority to make sure I’d put these guys down BEFORE he deployed his tank… well played, sir 😉

Rebels lurk in the woods, Dan shielding his close combat Strikers and HQ with the more disposable Rebels

Snipers positioned on the bluffs on the Rebel extreme right

Since we didn’t have objective markers as such, we used civilians – rather thematic in a way, these could be scientists fleeing the Imperium, or rushing to flee from a corrupted Rebellion!

The Colonel hiself, hiding out in the ruins of a Hazzard KFC franchise..

With the objectives all placed, it was time to rock & roll! Under GDF rules, whoever finished deploying first also got the option of going first or second (although with an alternating activation mechanic, this is not such a big deal).

The Battle Brothers rushed forward, intending to overwhelm the poorer quality rebel infantry in close combat and trusting to their hardy power armour (represented by good Defence rolls) and went aggressive – while one squad (the one armed with the missile launcher) stayed in cover (kinda – more on that in a minute) deploying the two combat squads out from their APC, while the jump-pack equipped Commander got ready to put the rebels to the sword!

But things didn’t quite pan out that way. Rebel snipers took down my missile launcher which I’d left more exposed than I realised and from there it went downhill as Dan handled the Rebels like a pro, keeping his distance and ensuring my Battle Brothers died the death of a thousand cuts, whittled away at by Rebel fire… and of course, with my sole heavy weapon cut down in the first turn without even firing a shot I had no answer to the Rebel tank with it’s lethal main weapon easily able to vapourise my poor Brothers.

We got our licks in where we could, but on turn 4 the Rebels counter attacked, having saved their Striker close combat elites to overwhelm my Commander and what Brothers had managed to make it into combat. The Rebels died to a man, but so did the Brothers and the Commander was wounded, making him easy meat for the Rebel commander and his Simian Champion… the Simian’s mighty fists beat through the weary and wounded Commander’s defences, and the last thing he saw was the face of his hated Rebel foe administering the coup de grace with his pistol at point blank range!

Right, pics:

Battle Brother support squad comes under fire early in turn one – bye bye, missile launcher..

Return fire! 3+ to hit, you say?

Battle Brothers debus from their APC to engage the foe

Farmhouse objective secured

Commander secures another objective in the church ruins

Having whittled the Brothers’ numbers down, the Rebels strike back, advancing on the farmhouse..

Rebel tank….

…and consequences!

In one of the few instances of being useful, one of the Rebel psychics conjures up a firestorm that immolates two Brothers

In desperation, the APC crew open up on the Rebel sorcerers hiding in the woods!

Sole surviving Battle Brother in the farmhouse prepares to sell his life dearly…

Beset on all sides, the Brothers’ commander is wounded…

.. and falls under the deluge of gun butts, Simian fists and power sword!

Pretty much sums up my dice rolling with that game!

So that’s 1 win to the Hazzard People’s Front (People’s Front Of Hazzard?), and a big fat loss to the Battle Brothers! I could lament my appalling dice rolls but the simple fact is my plan sucked and my execution was poor, leaving my sole heavy weapon stupidly exposed and trying to spread my forces too thin. Dan, on the other hand realised that it doesn’t matter how many objectives you hold on turn 1, it’s how many you hold when the game ends, so he suckered me in to get my forces chopped up while hoarding his best troops to unleash on me when my guys had been whittled away! Very cunning, my worthy foe…

So – winner stays on, and next up will be the Hazzard 1977th PDF to face the Rebels.. can the Guard win where the Marines failed? We’ll see!

Stay safe out there and stay thifty, see you soon!

It’s A(nother) Mash Up! The Battle At The Farm, 9th Ed Style #new40k #RogueTrader

This is becoming something of a tradition, so I won’t go too much into the background here. Suffice it to say that back in the original (read: charmingly kitsch but practically unplayable) version of 40k – the mythical Rogue Trader era:

Thanks for stealing my childhood, you bastard

And in the back of said tome was a scenario entitled “The Battle At The Farm” which basically involved the survivors of the Crimson Fists ambushing an Ork patrol who have designs on some loot left in said farm. Back before there were box sets, this book actually had counters as proxies for miniatures… somehow can’t imagine that happening in the age of Indomitus 😉

So with the release of 9th ed and the core rules available online (kinda.. more on that later!) -and with our little bit of Leicestershire coming out of lockdown, thank CHRIST – it was an ideal opportunity to break out the Orks of Da Skooderia and the scratchbuilt Crimson Fists to do battle once more. Here’s how it went down:

The field of battle – the Farm located in the centre, filled with Marines ready to do the business

Remember these guys? I could swear, 8th only dropped yesterday and we were all psyched for Dark Imperium..

There’s trouble afoot – Orks deploy onto the hilltop

Orks survey their target – Crimson Fists burnt out Rhino APC added for scenic flavour

With no targets to shoot at because the Marines are being cowards, hiding in the farmhouse, hrugg splits his force – Hruk leads two squads across open ground toward the farmhouse while Thrugg leads a flanking manoeuvre through the orchard

Turn 2 and with the Orks in range, the Marines reveal their first squad – Orks in the open, 3+ to hit…

Oh, SERIOUSLY???

Happily – and in marked contrast to the last time we fought this battle – the Crimson Fists have missile launcher operator who can actually see, and promptly wastes four Orks on the hillside

Remaining greenskin legs it!

Hruk’s force engage frontally, hoping to tie the Marines up in a firefight- remember we’re using RT rules here, Orks are BS 3 (or 4+ in modern 40k)

Impressively, they actually cause a kill! Although 9th comes with some nifty cover rules, none of them are in the core rules.. so we bodged something, decided on a -1 to hit when in cover. Back in the day (1987), Marines were T3 and a 4+ save, so a lot more fragile!

Orks advance across open ground, hugging what cover is available and laying down the dakka…

..concentrating it all on the Crimson Fists’ missile launcher operator, who falls to a lucky bolt shell!

Meanwhile. Thrugg leads his depleted ladz in an advance through the orchard..

The Imperium strikes back! Pedro Cantor and the other two squads deploy from hiding, one taking on the Orks in the open while Pedro leads a counterattack through the orchard

Now the Marines prove why they’re humanity’s finest – Pedro and his counterattcking squad drop five Orks in one round of firing!

Meanwhile it’s a full on firefight outside the farm – Marines drop three Orks but lose two of their own to Ork bolter fire, while Hruk gets a third with his plasma pistol

It’s up close and personal in the orchard – Thrugg fails his charge roll but his ladz pile in, while Pedro Cantor performs a Heroic Intervention (amid much checking of rules) – it was here that we realised, hilariously, that although GW put exhaustive descriptions of pile ins, Heroic Interventions and such, nowhere in the core rules have they actually explained how you resolve close combat X-D thankfully we’ve done this before….

Pedro Cantor and sidekick drop two Orks without so much as a scratch in return…

Having wiped out Thrugg’s boyz in the orchard, the Marines consolidate forwards into the woods toward Da Boss

In front of the farm, three of Hrud’s ladz fall to Marine bolters and another flees the scene

His plans in ruins, Thrugg decides to go down swinging – the way an Ork should! He hurls himself at Pedro Cantor, inflicting a wound with his plasma pistol…

Brushing aside the pain, Pedro Cantor grips the frenzied Ork boss…. crushing his skull with his power fist. Even an Ork boss can’t ignore that!

With that, that left Hrud and a sole Ork Boy on the table facing nine Marines and a wounded Cantor – so we called that a solid Space Marine victory! I wonder if it’s actually possible to win this as an Ork, certainly every battle report I’ve seen or read has the Orks taking a kicking…

9th is quite fun, even just dipping a toe as we were with our converted 1/72 figures, and we didn’t use any Command Points or Stratagems (not in the Core Rules) so I’d be up for giving it a go again, especially with GW’s 40k app giving you rules and codices for £3.99 a month… maybe I can persuade Jim to put it on his iPad… The absence of the core hand to hand combat mechanic was a hilarious omission though, so I’m not sure I’d trust GW’s editing/ quality control team with actual code! Maybe we’ll hold off until we’ve heard from some of you out there in the blogosphere how you got on..

Meantime, stay safe, stay sane, stay thrifty, see you soon!

2020 Grimdark Future/ Future Force Warrior/ (40k?)1000pt Jam

(Really meant to put this post up back in July, but oh well… the real world with it’s insatiable desire for risk assessments has been consistently getting in the way of my blogging. Better late than never! )

So, as lockdown starts to ease here in dear old Blighty, Dan and I have come up with a plan for a (hopefully) epic summer of gaming and playtesting!

The idea is pretty straightforward- we’ve cooked up some lists using the tried and tested One Page Rules system “Grimdark Future” – namely the Hazzard 1977th PDF, the Orc Marauders of Da Skooderia, The People’s Front of Hazzard 237th Freedom Brigade, the Space Ratmen Clans of Ratticus McStilton III and the Crimson Fist Battle Brothers that last saw an outing when we played the Battle At The Farm back at the start of 9th edition.

Each faction will play each other – 2pts for a Stomping Great Victory (terms to be defined later), 1 pt for a victory, 0 for a draw, -1 for a defeat, -2 for a Crushing defeat. Hopefully, keeping the forces small should allow us to replay using our own Future Force Warrior system (Apocalypse Earth’s sci fi twin) and the 9th ed rules from 40k which we understand will be downloadable for free. This should give some fun games with a variety of different forces and allow us to balance and hone our game system a little bit too.

So, without further ado, here are the participants:

Crimson Fist Battle Brothers:

Captain [1] 3+ 2+ Assault Rifle (24”, A1), Energy Fist (A2, AP(3)) e: Jetpack (Ambush, Flying) Fearless, Hero, Relentless, Tough(3) 135ps

Battle Brothers [5] 3+ 2+ Assault Rifles (24”, A1), CCWs (A1) Fearless 190 (325)

Battle Brothers [5] 3+ 2+ Assault Rifles (24”, A1), CCWs (A1) Fearless 190 (515)

Battle Brothers [5] 3+ 2+ Assault Rifles (24”, A1), CCWs (A1) Fearless 1 Missile Launcher – pick one to fire: HE (48”, A1, Blast(3)) AT (48”, A1, AP(3), Deadly(3)) 225 (740)

APC [1] 3+ 2+ Storm Rifle (24”, A2) Extra Storm Rifle (24”, A2) Fast, Fearless, Impact(6), Tough(6), 260 1000

Ratticus McStilton III’s Ratmen Clan:

Clan Mother [1] 3+ 3+ Staff-GL (24”, A1, AP(1), Blast(3)) ) Hero, Tough(6) Absolute Authority: When the hero activates pick one friendly unit within 12”, which gets the Fast rule next time it moves. 140Pts

Tangled Psychics [1] 5+ 4+ Elite Bodyguard (A3, AP(1)) , Rat Swarm (A6) Hero, Psychic(X), Tangle, Tough(3) Pistol (12”, A1)

Tangle: When the hero is activated roll one D3 to determine the X value of its Psychic(X) rule. Psychic Spells: 95pts RT 235

Filth (4+): Target friendly unit within 12” gets Poison in melee next time it fights.

Cracks (4+): Target enemy unit within 12” takes 2 automatic hits with AP(2).

Sickness (5+): Target enemy unit within 18” gets -1 to hit next time it shoots.

Lightning (5+): Target enemy unit within 12” takes 1 hit with AP(4) and Deadly(3).

Frenzy (6+): Target friendly unit within 12” may immediately move by up to 6”.

Pestilence (6+): Target enemy unit within 6” takes 1 automatic hit per model.

3 x Saboteurs [5] 5+ 5+ Pistols (12”, A1), Explosives (A1, AP(4)) Scout 405 RT 640

Weapon Experts [5] 4+ 4+ Carbines (18”, A1), CCWs (A1) Relentless 2 x Heavy Machinegun (36”, A3, AP(1)) 2 x Rocket Launcher (24”, A1, AP(3), Deadly(3)) Plasma Rifle (24”, A1, AP(2)) 165pts RT 805

Rat Piper [1] 5+ 4+ Combat Staff (A3, Poison) Hero, Piper, Tough(3) Piper’s Calling

Piper: This hero may only join Rat Swarm units. The hero and his unit get Regeneration.

Piper’s Calling: When the hero is activated pick one friendly unit within 12”. That unit counts as having Quality 2+ next time it takes a morale test. 105Pts RT 910

2 x Rat Swarms [3] 6+ 6+ Swarm Attacks (A3, Poison) Strider, Tough(3) 90pts RT 1000

People’s Front Of Hazzard 237th Freedom Brigade Rebel Guerillas:

Commander – Q 4+ D 4+Carbine 18″ A1, Energy Fist A2 P2, Camo Cloak (Stealth) Wings (Ambush, Flying. Hero, Tough 3 (65pts)

4 Rebel Psychics – Q 5+ D 5+ Pistol 12″ A1 CCW A1, Hero, Psychic 1, Tough 3 (4 x 50pts – 200pts)

Simian Champion Q 4+ D 4 + Claw Gauntlets on Massive Fists A6 AP 1 Rending, Furious, Hero, Tough 3 (55pts)

2 x Rebel Squads – Q 5+ D 5+ 4 troops w/ Carbines 18″ A1, CCW A1, 1 w/ Missile Launcher 48″ HE A1 Blast 3 AT A1 AP3 Deadly 3. Camo Cloaks (Stealth) (2 x 85 pts – 170 pts total)

Striker Squad – 3 Strikers Q 5+ D 5+ Shotgun 12″ A2, Energy Sword A2 AP 1 Rending (105 pts)

Sniper Squad – 3 Snipers Q 6+ D 6+ Sniper Rifles 36″ A 1 AP1, Sniper CCW A1 (95 pts)

2 x Bounty Hunters Q 4+ D 4+ Plasma Rifle 24″ A1 AP2 , Camo Cloak (Stealth), Wings (Ambush, Fling, Hero, Scout, Tough 3 (2 x 65 pts – 130 pts total)

Assault Vehicle – Q 4+ D 2+ Fusion Cannon 24″ A1 AP4 Blast 3 Fast, Impact (6) Tough (6) (180 pts)

Total 1000 pts

The Hazzard 1977th Human Defence Force:

Commander [1] Q 4+ D 5+ Assault Rifle (24”, A1), Energy Sword (A2, AP (1)) Commander, Hero, Tough (3) 55

Commander: When the hero is activated pick one friendly non-commander unit within 6” that has no models with Tough(6) or more, and roll one die to give it orders. On a 4+ the unit may immediately be activated, even if it had been activated already this round.

Psychic [1] Q 5+ D 5+ Assault Rifle (24”, A1), CCW (A2) Hero, Psychic (2), Tough (3) 50 RT 105

• Fortitude (4+) – Target friendly unit within 12”: immediately loses all enemy spell effects*
• Nightmares (4+) -Target enemy model within 12” – takes 3 automatic hits with AP(2)*
• Shroud (5+) – Target enemy model within 18” gets -1 to it’s rules next time it shoots*
• Tempest (5+) Target enemy model within 6” takes 1 automatic hit with AP (1) per model*
• Psychic Barrier (6+) Target friendly unit within 12” gts +2 to its defence rolls next time it takes hits*
• Furious Blaze (6+) Target enemy unit within 18” takes 8 automatic hits with AP (1)

Drill Sergeant [1] 5+ 5+ Assault Rifle (24”, A1), CCW (A2) Battle Drills, Hero, Tough(3) A 40pts RT 145

Battle Drills: When the hero and his unit are activated pick one of the following drills, and they get one of these special rules until the end of the round:

 Double Time: +3” when moving

 Take Aim: +1 to shooting rolls

 Focus Fire: AP(+1) when shooting

 Fix Bayonets: +1 to melee rolls

Battle Tank [1]

4+

2+

Heavy Flamethrower (12”, A6, AP(1)), Nova Cannon (36”, A1, AP(1), Blast(6)) Machinegun (36”, A3)

Fast, Impact(6), Tough(12)

505

Weapon Teams [3] 5+ 5+ Heavy Machineguns (36”, A3, AP(1)), CCWs (A1) Tough(3) F 115pts 620

Weapon Teams [3] 5+ 5+ Missile Launcher – pick one to fire:

HE (48”, A1, Blast(3))

AT (48”, A1, AP(3), Deadly(3)), CCWs (A1) Tough(3) F 120pts 740

Weapon Teams [3] 5+ 5+ Laser Cannon

(48”, A1, AP(4), Deadly(3)), CCWs (A1) Tough(3) F 125pts 865

Conscripts [10] 6+ 5+ Assault Rifles (24”, A1), CCWs (A1) – – 75pts 940

Infantry Squad [5] 5+ 5+ Assault Rifles (24”, A1), CCWs (A1) – Sergeant Plasma Pistol (12”, A1, AP(2))

and CCW (A2) 60pts 1000pts

Company Standard: This unit gets the Fear and Fearless special rules.

Executioner: Whenever the hero’s unit fails a morale test you must kill one of its models and the morale test counts as passed instead.

Field Radio: If this unit has a Commander, then it may give orders to other units that have a Field Radio up to 24” away.

Medical Training: This model and his unit get the Regeneration rule.

Orc Marauder Warband “Da Skooderia”:

Warlord [1]

3+   (shoots at 5+)

4+

Twin Carbine (18”, A4)   , CCW (A3)

Bad Shot, Furious, Hero, Tough(3)

65pts

Orcs [10]

4+   (shoots at 5+)

5+

Carbines (18”, A2)   , CCWs (A2) 1 Rocket Launcher (24”, A1, AP(3), Deadly(3)) 1 Heavy Machinegun (36”, A3, AP(1))

Bad Shot, Furious

215pts   RT -280

Commando Orcs [5]
4+
 
(shoots at 5+)
5+
Pistols (12”, A1), CCWs (A2)
 
1 Flamethrower (12”, A6)
Bad Shot, Furious, Scout, Stealth, Strider
 
145pts
 
RT 425

Power Armor Orcs [3]

3+   (shoots at 5+)

2+

Carbines (18”, A2), Energy Fists (A3, AP(2))

Bad Shot, Furious, Slow, Tough(6)

395pts   RT 820

Truck [1]
4+
2+
Heavy Machinegun (36”, A3, AP(1)), Crew (A1)
Bad Shot, Fast, Impact(3), Tough(6), Transport(11)
Battle Ram (Strider)
 
Red Paint Job (moves +3” on Advance and +6” on Rush/Charge actions)
180pts
 
RT 1000

So there we go, apologies for the oddities in formatting but I couldn’t really get on with the WordPress editor… it’s legible, that’ll have to suffice! We’re up to game 4 now so I’ll be posting an update in the next…. year? Seriously, COVID, just f*ck off and stop causing so much bloody trouble…. oh well, I’m sure this time next year we’ll all be reminiscing about this!

Stay safe, healthy and thrifty out there, we’ll see you again soon!

Zombies!

So, sitrep – things suck. We’ve passed 19,000 dead here in the UK, the NHS is running on fumes, America has projections of almost a quarter of a million dead and God alone knows what’s going to happen when Covid-19 hits the slums in places like Bangladesh or Calcutta. Here in the UK, the maxim is stay home, stay safe, protect the NHS – and regrettably it seems many people can’t even manage that. It’s a bleak and scary time.

But it’s also a time to maintain a sense of proportion. Yes, We’ve lost 19,000+ to the virus – but we regularly lose 8,000 to seasonal flu. In the US it’s estimated that 24,000- 63,000 fall to seasonal flu each year. Let’s be realistic – statistically you’ve got a 99% chance of surviving the virus should you contract it. The projected death rates are simply from the fact that we have huge populations. My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones from this, but it is NOT the end of the world. 100 years ago, Spanish flue tore through a world recovering from the butchery of World War 1, and despite having nowhere near the scientific base of knowledge we have now, the world endured and survived. We will endure and survive this too.

Dan and I are both following the rules and staying at home, and we both have a personal stake in this – Dan’s wife is a nurse, my girlfriend is an HCA (health care assistant), and we both want them home safe at the end of each shift. So I implore you (although if you’re smart enough to read this blog you’re smart enough to know this anyway) – STAY HOME. IT’S NOT LIKE THEY’RE PUTTING YOU DOWN A F*CKING COAL MINE. STAY HOME & WATCH NETFLIX… pretty sure the WW2 generation could manage this without issue!

Anyway, rant over – seeing as my other half can’t come over and my gaming buddy is under lockdown too, I decided to do movie & game night with a zombie theme.. hey, you think things suck now? Imagine that the virus reanimates it’s victims…

So with that in mind, I set up a solo version of Apocalypse Earth: Black Ops – our skirmish RPG variant on the main game rules – with the idea of an Atlantic Alliance Special Forces team moving through a derelict industrial estate to rescue a group of scientists trapped in an abandoned APC.

Special Forces team deploy bottom left hand corner – Lt. Hunt, Specialist Moss (RIP) Hill, and Stewart with him

A drone eye view of the battlefield

The team deploy in cover

Incoming!

Zombies spill from their spawning points all over the board

The team move out but Stewart takes an arm wound, caught in the open by a zombie with a pistol!

The rest of the team close up in support

They down a zombie but more approach, forcing the team to pull back!

Stewart downs a zombie but return fire stuns him

Just what you don’t need in a firefight!

Specialist Moss pitches in to help the stricken Stewart, but…

Reload? Seriously? Did no one check their weapons before they shipped out?!?

As CO, Lt. Hunt dives in to provide covering fire for his team…

Oh, f*cking seriously?!? Did NOBODY check their weapons before they left?!?

Zombies fall upon the team!

An ignominious end as the team are overrun and eaten!

Hmm. Slightly unsatisfactory experience, if I’m honest. However, I had given all the zombies guns and a fair old turn of speed, which, in addition to their numbers probably gave them an unfair advantage. After a few minutes rumination I reset to go again, but this time the zombies would have no weapons, a CCR of 0, a move allowance of 8cm, and the team’s weapons would be replaced with more advanced “pulse rifles” with a ROF of 5. Let’s give this another shot!

The team deploy into cover in the bottom right hand corner

Zombies pour forward as the team take sniping positions, keeping their distance and using their firepower

But Specialist Moss lets them get too close, felling two but three more fall on his position!

Specialist Hill moves in to support, Stewart and Hunt massacring zombies in a lethal crossfire!

Hill falls to the zombie hoard. Remembering the mission, Hunt bawls to Stewart to get moving – their mission is to rescue the civilians, not slaughter the numberless zombies….

Stewart and Hunt move efficiently across the battlefield, using fire and movement to cover each other…

Stewart falls to a massed horde of zombies catching him from a flank – there simply aren’t enough bullets! Now it’s down to Lt. Hunt..

Hunt skirts around the side of some industrial machinery, keeping his distance from the zombie horde…

Making it to the APC by the skin of his teeth! Whatever those scientists know, it better be more valuable than yet another formula for erectile dysnfunction or male pattern baldness disorders, that’s three highly trained and valuable Special Forces soldiers who’ve ended up as a zombie’s lunch!

Whew, well, that second go around was a LOT more intense and cinematic! I got bogged down in the early phases trying to gun down the zombies but that was never going to happen, their sheer numbers were always going to win out, so I should have kept moving as fast as possible, only shooting when necessary and keeping my distance. Oh well, as an Atlantic Alliance player I guess I’m too used to standing my ground and gunning down Dan’s Holy Soviet Army hordes… and once all this coronavirus hideousness is over, I’m very much looking forward to doing that again!

As always, stay safe, stay thrifty out there and we’ll see you soon (hopefully). Love to all our friends out in the blogosphere!

New Project Inbound! Guerilla Renegade Tank

A quarter of the world is on lockdown (as of Thursday – probably more now). Try and wrap your head around that – a quarter of the world. We are living in unprecedented, historic times as coronavirus wreaks its’ havoc across the globe. Indeed, as I write this the UK is locked down, all non-essential travel forbidden.

Which kind of rules out our regular games night. Pretty certain going to play soldiers and drink beer with your mate doesn’t count as essential travel. So this has left me picking through the pile of toy soldiers we acquired in an eBay haul waaaaaaay back in 2012, with an idea in mind.

I’ve long fancied doing a “renegade” army, Chaos but without featuring Chaos Space Marines (as to my mind, they should be as rare as Loyalist marines) – just as the vast bulk of the Imperium’s battles are fought by the Guard, surely the vast bulk of Chaos forces will be cultists? But all the Codex stuff leans heavily on Traitor Astartes or full on Daemons.. not what I was looking for.

However, the good folks at One Page Rules have got you covered! Their Renegade Guerilla force – I believe it’s based on the Rebels from Star Wars, but it looks like a pretty good fit. We dig their Grimdark Future game, having had a couple of good scraps last year (plus it includes solo rules for when you’re missing your gaming buddy). Plus I liked the idea of a Chaos cult not really understanding that that’s what they are – having been educated in the Siege of Vraks by the excellent Arch Warhammer (a great listen while you’re cleaning, painting, decorating etc) – the rebels initially had no idea they were fighting for Chaos, initially believing they were the true loyalists… and that fits into a vague idea of the Star Wars and 40k universes being the same thing from different perspectives, Star Wars rebels thinking they’re noble freedom fighters against the repressive Galactic Empire, the Galactic Empire knowing that repression and stringent restrictions are the only way to fight Chaos/ The Force….

…or indeed coronavirus…

So I planned my list. I’ll show the infantry when they’re done, but let’s start off with the armoured component of the force – a Creighton-pattern light assault vehicle, a design native to the world of Hazzard Prime.

Remember those 4D “3D puzzle”tanks from 2017? Pair the M1 Abrams turret with the T-72 body to break up the silhouette, cut down the 120mm cannon t represent a short range “fusion blaster”.. then decorate with cardboard and stowage..

Fusion cannon made more sci-fi with the addition of guitar string… targeter? Cooling device?

Comin’ atcha…

More stowage on the rear of the turret, plus a guitar string antenna

And then, I watched “Fury”! So greenstuff sandbags suddenly became de rigeur..

Front and rear, naturally

That’ll stop those laser cannon beams, no problem

Primed! Added a commander figure in the hatch from the pack of Airfix soldiers I recruited for the infantry.. more on them in a separate post!

Painting! Slapped cheap tan craft paint over the black – never mind two thin coats, this bastard needed four, but hey, it’s not like I’ve got a deadline Camo triangles were done in Vallejo Olive Drab and the whole thing got a wash of Vallejo Brown Ink thinned with W&N matt medium.. the “freedom” sigils were stippled on with red craft paint.

Pin wash with Vallejo Smokey Ink, followed by sponge chipping Vallejo German Grey… in the heaviest weathered parts I went in with the teeny brush and put just a tiny stripe of Vallejo Silver in to represent paint and primer coming off – all this freedom fighting leaves precious little time for maintenance, you know.

Done! In situ with tank commander painted..

..and here facing down it’s nemesis, the Hazzard 1977th PDF Leman Russ, the mighty “General” himself!

I’ll be showing the infantry soon, and then it’ll be nice to have another faction to scuffle on Hazzard Prime – plus these guys will probably count as “baddies” (whether they agree with it or not) which will provide a nice bit of balance when we next do a REALLY BIG GAME – and we will… things might seem grim now, but it’s not forever.

Till next time, stay home, stay safe, wash your hands and don’t do anything stupid. If you’re NHS and reading this, then thank f*ck for you and may any and every deity protect you going about your duties. The world will turn soon enough, hang in there folks.