YET MOAR Hairy Japanese Bastards – Virum Nascii reinforcements!

The Totally-Not-Skaven return, and in strength! This project has been rumbling along for the last few (18 to be exact) months, gaining and losing momentum since summer 2018 when we bought – apparently – the last four boxes of these Miniknight Ratmen in existence!

We’ve covered the initial tranches of slaves and warriors, and the lads have seen combat in the Mortal Realms, as well as the world of Hyperia and wherever Age Of Fantasy is set, and have given pretty good accounts of themselves. We’ve got Plague Monks, Poison Wind Grenadiers and elites to add variety, and with the latest haul we’ve added a Seer, a Death Master and a unit each of Night Runners and Gutter Runners to provide skirmishing capabilities. Obviously we’ll have to rename them for Hyperian Wars, but they’ll do just fine for Age Of Fantasy, Age Of Sigmar and what the hell, we may even dig up good ol’ Warhammer Fantasy herself to throw down retro style!

Meanwhile, of course… pics!

 

Grey seer, converted to wield a staff rather than a blade – staff is a straightened out paper clip, and I bodged a lump of greenstuff to be some kind of armoured gauntlet.. I think the best you can say is you don’t really notice form two feet away!
Went for a pastel look – the blue grey areas were actually painted with Wilkinsons own brand Duck Egg Blue house paint! As usual, went with the strategy of start light and washing down. Actually tried zenithal highlighting – primed grey and dusted white. I get the theory, but I’m not sure I see a difference… I’ll keep trying!
Death Master! He got the sword I chopped off the Seer and replaced with a staff. 
Rat-Ninja!
They could almost be brothers.. 
Night Runner light skirmishers
Gutter Runner elite skirmishers
The new additions!

I really think Miniknight are onto a winner here, 20mm is a great scale for fantasy, enough to let detail on the models stand out, the models are dirt cheap and they look great racked up into regiments, you get more manoeuvre room on the table top -there are undead, orcs, goblins, dwarves from Caesar, Miniknight and Dark Alliance to check out and each of these races will have a place in the Hyperian Wars canon!

Still to come are conversions for the heavy weapons teams, and of course there’s some war machines on the horizon! We’ll be making a Doomwheels, and a Screaming Bell.. and basically everything over the next few (18?) months and everything will be rolling out on the tabletop in due course, so stay tuned!

Epic Showdown on Hazzard Prime!

Damn, when you get old, time goes FAST. Can you really believe it was December 2017 when we last threw down the Epic armies of WAAAAAGH BOZZHOG and the Redeemers Marine Chapter?

Nope, neither could we.

So it was high time to break out the wee tiny fellas, scatter some scenery and get ready to do some serious krumpin’

This time the Imperial forces would be bolstered not just by the home made Leviathan, but also by a squadron of home made Vindicators – the first inklings of a DIY Epic Imperial Guard army! Whilst the greenskins… they got BIG RED.

 Preparation:

The armies hit the board! Objectives laid, armies deployed – Big Red anchors the Ork left flank along with the Goff Skullhamma, while the Slasher leads the Goffs and Evil Sunz assault force and the Bad Moons prepare to provide fire support. Meanwhile, the Devastators anchor the Imperial right, while the Veterans make ready to assault forwards in the centre supported by the Land Raider company, Warlord Titan, Leviathan and Vindicator squadron.

Ork Plan:

The basic plan with WAAGH BOZZHOG has pretty much always been use the Evil Sunz to charge forward and pin the enemy in place until the Goffs arrive to batter them senseless, while the Bad Moons throw fire support downrange. Meanwhile Big Red would occupy the objective in the gulley to the left, backed up by the Skullhamma and the Slasher would either cause calamities with it’s belly gun or rush forward to demolish the opposition with it’s chainfist, we’d play that one by ear!

Imperial Plan:

Looking at the terrain, it seemed a slam dunk to have the Devastators to deploy up the steep hill onto the objective on the Imperial right, which would also give a great field of fire across the battlefield. However, there was a tempting objective in the town slightly toward the centre, so I split off one detachment to occupy that. Meanwhile, the veterans of 1st Company would hurl themselves forward into the teeth of the ork horde and try and hold the town in the face of the Evil Sunz assault while the Land Raider company moved up in support behind them (with their mortal cousins in the Imperial Guard Vindicator squadron alongside them) and the Warlord and Leviathan adding their weight of firepower to the mix.

Turn 1:

Orks get the initiative and force the Marines to move first. Devastators take positions on the hill and in the town, while No. 1 company veterans deploy into the buildings facing the Ork horde!
Hurtling forward, pedal to the metal, the Evil Sunz crash into the veterans of No. 1 company and the Nobz warbikes demolish a squadron of Land Raiders.
Carnage!!!!
As turn 1 ends, the orks have broken the Veteran and Land Raider companies in exchange for the Evil Sunz and the Skullhamma but superior Imperial manoeuvrability means  more Imperial held objectives – Imperials lead 36 VPs to 26.

Turn 2:

The second wave hits! Goffs assault the buildings held by the remains of the veteran company whilst the few surviving Evil Sunz add their firepower in support. Meanwhile the Slasher lines up the Warlord and the surviving Imperial armour moves up in the centre.
Guard Vindicators pour their fire into the murderous close quarter battle in the streets as the Marine veterans fight desperate hand to hand combats in the buildings!
Devastator fire blows up the Skullhamma but Big Red watches on, impervious… (note the building reduced to rubble by a ball round, taking most of a Devastator detachment with it!)
Destruction up close and personal!

This turn broke the Devastators on top of the Veterans and Land Raiders, but the Goffs were teetering on the brink after the spectacularly bloody battle for the town that had also shattered the Evil Sunz, the Slasher and the Warlord  had both taken chunks out of each other and both sides were teetering on the edge of collapse…

Turn 3:

 

With the last veterans massacred by rampaging Goffs, Whirlwind artillery fire, combined with the barrage weapons on the Leviathan and Warlord, collapses the building they captured. Meanwhile, a lucky volcano cannon shot from the Warlord causes a flashback to the magazine, destroying the Slasher!
With the Slasher gone (and Big Red on the other flank damaged by fire from the Devastators), the Goffs now broken, the battered Imperial forces stand bloodied but victorious! 58-44 to the Redeemers with their Hazzard PDF allies – WAAAGH-BOZZHOG is denied once again…

Epilogue:

Whew, that was close – had I not got lucky with the Warlord’s volcano cannon in turn 3, that could have gone very differently.. I’ve also realised how ineptly I handled the veterans, rushing them forward to take on the Ork horde in close combat whilst moving support up behind them – what I should have done is kept them in their transports in reserve and allow the Orks to face long range fire from whatever Devastators I could spare from sparring with the Gargant, let the Whirlwinds and the barrage weapons on the Titan do their thing and then unleashed the elite close combat troops. And I should group the Terminators with them, as they accomplished squat where they were, until they were largely squashed by a ball round… must remember, it’s not how many points you have at the start of the game, it’s how many you have on the last turn that count!

___________________

 

Zog it! Well, I stuck to the plan – so maybe that’s the problem.. I’m thinking of putting the Goffs in battlewagons to keep up with the Sunz and maybe paint up a Death Skull warband to best use the Goff armour. That way the assault wave can hit all at once for truly devastating effect.. hmm.. either way, we definitely have escalation!

Till next time, stay thrifty out there!

Hold Back The Tide – A Hyperian Wars Battle Report

The mood was tense. The grenadiers and riflemen were trading rumours amongst themselves – an unstoppable horde of Virum Nascii, hundreds strong, which had overrun the outlying colony of Hadley’s Hope in the northern disputed territories, slaughtering the Sky Marines sent to interdict them.

Amongst the crew of the steam tank “McDaggett’s Fury“, however, such sentiments were notable for their absence. 

“Sky Marines” scoffed commander Boddicker, “probably tried to buy them off.”

He patted the gunsights on the Fury’s main cannon. “Firepower! And lots of it! That’s all those beasts can be expected to understand. Franz? Louis? Are your rifles zeroed?”

The two foregunners saluted in eerie synchronicity. “Sir! Yes, sir –  optimised to peak accuracy, ammo feeds and repeater mechanisms cleared and double checked”

“Good work” Boddicker nodded approvingly “Signal Colonel Murphy that the Fury stands ready”

Atop his horse, surveying his assembled forces, Witch-Colonel Alecius Murphy had already sensed the build up of adrenaline and arrogance within the steam tank- it’s very presence evidence of how seriously the Ancien Regime province command took the Virum Nascii threat. Sky Marines didn’t die easily – he knew that all too well. Underestimating his foe was not a mistake Murphy intended to make again. 

He surveyed his assembled forces – lines of riflemen in their dark blue coats and peaked caps, columns of grenadiers imposing with their shakos and bayonets, a regiment of the illustrious cuirassier cavalry, the line anchored by the imposing iron beast that was the McDaggett’s Fury

The Virum Nascii had plagued this province in recent months, and the slaughter of a Sky Marine force at the nearby colony of Hadley’s Hope had proven that these beasts were present in force, and not to be underestimated. Murphy cast his precognitive vision forth and in his minds eye sensed the presence of a huge horde of the ratmen, heading his way.

“We make our stand here” he announced, “prepare firing positions and make ready to receive the enemy”

He gritted his teeth. It would be enough. It had to be enough.

Welcome back to another Hyperian Wars battle report – and this one should be a doozy…

After the slaughter of the Sky Marines in the last battle, this time it’s the turn of the other major human faction (so far… fluff still very much WIP), the Ancien Regime to face the vile ratmen! Some of you may remember these lads from way back in the early days of the blog, and in fact the first ever Hyperian Wars battle back in 2016. The Grand Alliance and the Ancien Regime are prone to the odd clash now and again, but petty squabbles are invariably pushed aside when the unhuman terrors such as the Virum Nascii are on the rampage. Lord Ratticus’ hordes have been boosted by some frenetic painting, while in response I’ve given the humans some much needed firepower with our repainted steam tank, and with these new toys ready it was off to the shed to commence battle!

We set objectives (Vrilfire reactor,  hilltop ruins, hilltop to the northern edge of the table and ruined temple at the top left of the picture)   rolled deployment and got diagonal facings – Virum Nascii won the roll off and made the Ancien Regime set up first.. appropriately sneaky for the vile ratmen..
Ancien Regime lines – Colonel Murphy commanding two regiments of riflemen each about twenty strong, two sixteen strong regiments of grenadiers, a ten man cavalry squadron and the steam tank…
..facing a LOT of rats! Lord Ratticus, emboldened by his previous victory now commands two 16 strong regiments of warriors, two similarly sized regiments of slave archers, a 24 strong regiment of slaves with hand weapons, plus a section of poison wind grenadiers, 8 plague priests, a bodyguard of 6 vermin stormtroopers…
… and a small section of 5 assassins, here sneakily infiltrated forwards into cover.

With everything deployed, it was game on!

Turn 1:

To the surprise of absolutely no one, the Virum Nascii charge forward!
Cavalry crash into the slave regiment…
…shattering their fragile morale and causing the survivors to disappear!
Poison wind grenadiers join the party, taking chunks out of the human forces
Lord Ratticus gets stuck in…
Felling his foe! By the end of turn 1, each side has two objectives – the Ancien Regime have lost their cavalry regiment, the Virum Nascii have lost the slave regiment, two warriors and a poison wind grenadier…

Turn 2:

Poison wind grenadiers take down McDagget’s Fury!
Assassins pile into the riflemen..
Grenadiers march to confront the warriors!
Assassins take their toll on the grenadiers

But it’s not all one sided….
Meanwhile the grenadiers on the northern table edge duel it out with the slave archer regiments..
Carnage wherever you look!

Turn 3:

Ratticus and his Stormtrooper bodyguard fall to the guns of the grenadiers
Virum Nascii assault begins to stall in open ground
Poison wind grenadier takes on the riflemen
Plague priests pile in to the riflemen in the centre

Turn 4:

Ratmen warriors make a charge towards the riflemen in the woods
In bloody fighting, the riflemen bring down the plague priests
Without Ratticus’ command bonus, this regiment of warriors natural cowardice takes over..
The final poison wind grenadier falls
Grenadiers finish off the slave archer regiment

Turn 5:

Warrior regiment finds it’s nerve again but is decimated by the riflemen on the hill 
Grenadiers bring down the final archer slave before beginning to advance into the ruined village
As turn 5 ends it’s two objectives apiece, but four damaged infantry regiments plus Colonel Murphy are facing half a warrior regiment and an archer slave regiment.. without Lord Ratticus’ presence holding them together the Virum Nascii realise the situation is unwinnable and flee the field. Humanity holds this day!

Well, that was a blast and right up to turn 4 it could have gone either way – Colonel Murohy may have failed to successfully cast a single spell but his presence definitely helped the riflemen in the centre beat off the ratmen assault. I think the main issue the Virum Nascii had was failure to concentrate force in one area – had they focused on one single area of the human lines they could have overwhelmed them and rolled up the line piecemeal, but poor coordination let their regiments get picked off one at a time, and when Ratticus went down their naturally poor morale really started to count against them…

Still, the story isn’t over, we’ve got more Hyperian Wars coming as the escalation continues – more troops, characters and war machines for the Virum Nascii, and the same for the human factions! Stay tuned, stay thrifty, we’ll see you soon

Hyperian Wars: Escalation! A7V Steampunk conversion

Dan and I have been busily working our way through the four – FOUR – boxes of Miniknight Ratmen we wound up buying last year, and don’t y’all be fretting as there’s a big update coming on them. But in the meantime, we’re planning a sequel to the last Hyperian Wars battle report – after a taut pitched battle against the Sky Marines of the Grand Alliance, the Virum Nascii are going up against the massed armies of the Ancien Regime.. and with Dan in the hot seat for the little furry guys, I found myself flying the flag for humanity…

Enter the first ever papercraft either of us made, way back in 2015….

dscn1810

Yeah, not great. But the Ancien Regime are going to need every bit of firepower they can get on Friday, because those rats are lethal. So a few nights ago I decided to attempt an upgrade:

Took the original ( a papercraft download from “Landships II” of a 1/72 A7V) – added the rubber holder from the end of a pencil for the main gun, green stuff and guitar string cut offs for the repeater rifles in the nose, drinking straws for the exhausts
Crosses from a foamboard castle kit that Dan’s kid got for Christmas, rivets are dobs of PVA glue added with a bent paperclip

Then came the repaint – grey basecoat, washed with thinned black ink, pin wash pf smokey ink , red and yellow for the detailing, silver washed with blank ink for the metallics. Spot of sponge chipping with craft black paint and drybrushed earth tones for mud, banners drawn out, painted freehand and then wrapped around a paperclip rolled straight (ish) with a rolling pin. And the result…

Oh yeah, and brass painted with craft paint and washed with brown ink, tracks added with cut up IDE cables. Pictured here in situ with some Ancien Regime troops on patrol!

Terrain Talk Pt. 13 – Lots Of Extraordinary Riveting: A Vrilfire Reactor for Hyperian Wars

Some of you may be familiar with Dakkadakka.com, one of the biggest hubs for wargaming (mainly GW, but by no means exclusively), as well as painting and modelling. Jim and I are regular visitors, and over the years have come upon many PLOGs to loot for ideas and inspiration (see here, for example).

And lo, it was on a recent trawl for ideas to pinch that we came upon the elite secret society (well, sort of) of Dakka terrain builders, the League Of Extraordinary Riveters – so named for being the detail obsessed, practically OCD modellers who will go to the extent of modelling every rivet onto their pieces.

Frankly, this rather appealed! And so when this month’s terrain competition was announced, with “food” as it’s theme, we thought, let’s have a go.

Now, every year I get a Cadbury’s Creme Egg easter egg. And every year it’s awesome, even though it does nudge me a step closer to type 2 diabetes. But every year, after I’ve gorged myself on sugar and then gone through the inevitable grinding comedown, I look at the packaging and think, “That could be…. SOMETHING”

Well, this year? It’s going to be SOMETHING.

 

It begins…
Planning (PLANNING?!?) stage….
Enter a caption
Detailing and tiling with cardboard
Boiler plate detailed with PVA blobs for rivets
More tiling, gates added – made from cardboard, three layers, woodwork patterns carved in to the door and rivets added. Cooling towers from drinking straws.
Pipework made from sprues sawn up with new toy – a razor saw!
Entire piece sprayed black and then texture paste added on top – a mix of PVA, filler, sand and water.
Base made from a handily sized hardboard square I happened to have left ovr, edges bevelled and then texture paste applied there too.
And done! Prime black, drybrush up using our Lukes APS ruins palette.. metallics done with gun metal washed with black and brown ink, skin wash added in places for a rusty vibe. Honourable mention for semicircular flywheel casings – they were peanut butter jar lids cut in half with the razor saw!
Ground primed black and drybrushed up through dark to light browns, three tone flock added
1/72 Virum Nascii ratmen shown for scale

Vallejo Skin Wash used to represent rust
Added some flock and clump foliage to represent wear and weathering
Not too shabby overall!

So no idea how we’ve placed in the end, but it’s been a good fun ride!

So until next time, stay thrifty and we’ll see you soon!

Massacre at Hadley’s Hope – Hyperian Wars AAR

Well damn. The dice are just cooling down after an absolutely blistering playtest of our steampunk/ fantasy/ VSF mashup system, “Hyperian Wars” – today featuring the Sky Marines of the Grand Alliance versus the villainous Virum Nascii. And DAMN, the result was really not what we expected, but it was an absolutely corking game! So, with memories still relatively fresh and unclouded by liquor, time to dive into this evening’s battle report –

Lists:

Grand Alliance Sky Marines (all troops are skirmishers):

HQ – Commander, Mortar, Rifleman, 2x Signallers

3 Sections – 9 Marines w/ Bolt Action Rifle, Fragmentation Bombs, Bayonets

Virum Nascii:

Warlord – Hand Weapons

16 x Warriors – Hand Weapons

16 x Slaves – Hand Weapons

16 x Slaves – Bow & Arrow

5 x Poison Grenadiers (skirmishers) – Poison Grenades, Hand Weapons

10 x Stormtroopers – Hand Weapons

8 x Plague Priests – Hand Weapons

So, one side has the firepower – but the other has numbers. And speed. Who would prevail?

Deployment:

Sky Marines deploy onto the southern edge – with little in the way of missile fire, we went for best firing positions to maximise our ranged advantage
Virum Nascii deploy, concentrating on the ruined village – aiming to overwhelm one area of the Sky Marine lines before moving on. Slaves and warriors to the fore to absorb casualties, Warlord and his retinue of elite troops use them as cover to get in range and get stuck in!
The Slaves catch a glimpse of their enemy on the horizon!
The view from the Sky Marine lines – that’s a LOT of rats!

Turn 1

Sky Marine rifle fire rips through the exposed archer Slaves, killing half their number
HQ section mortar falls among archer slaves, adding to the carnage as the Virum Nascii hurtle forwards – I’d placed my weakest units at the front to absorb casualties, in true merciless villain style!

Turn 2

Sky Marines gain the initiative and gun down the remaining Slave archers
After gunning down the archers, Sky Marines suddenly find the Virum Nascii getting very, very, very close!
Mortar shell falls amongst the slave regiment
Seeing their brothers about to get overrun, No. 3 Squad open up on the Ratmen!

Turn 3

Virum Nascii were just about to hit Sky Marine positions, and things were about to get… interesting…

Sky Marines pour fire point blank into the onrushing Ratmen horde
But it’s not even close to enough – No. 2 squad are torn apart by the vicious beastmen
Mortar shell bursts upon the Ratmen warriors!
The Ratmen warriors finish off No. 2 squad with sword and claw!

The surviving Ratmen warriors achieve Frenzy and crash on into Sky Marine HQ!
The elite human infantry dispatch the Virum Nascii beasts, but at a cost, losing the signallers
Plague priests pile on to the HQ!
The Warlord and his elite bodyguard crash into No. 3 squad!
The Sky Marines put up a valiant fight, but they’re no much for the vicious Virum Nascii!

Turn 4

Plague priests overwhelm the Sky Marine HQ!
Only one Priest left standing, but HQ – and Lt. Gorman – is down!
Meanwhile, No. 1 squad cluster up in the ruins to repel the oncoming Virum Nascii!
A frenzied maelstrom of blood and claws in the ruined temple!
In the last moments of the battle, the last Sky Marine (PFC Hudson) pumps rounds into the seething mass of Ratmen – “COME GET SOME MOTHERF*CKER!”

But in the end.. it was game over, man. Game over.

Wow. Holy sh*t but that was a blast – the Sky Marines deploying, full of confidence in our ranged firepower, taking down huge numbers of Virum Nascii….. right up until the rats got into charge range and then it hit the fan and no mistake! My outnumbered squads were ripped apart in short order, and damn but the Ratmen are FAST!!

In fact, the battle played out much like a steampunk/ fantasy version of the classic movie “Aliens” – the Sky Marines inflicting huge losses on the ratmen for no loss to themselves… right up until the moment when they weren’t.. and then it became a massacre! Hence the title – fans will recognise Hadley’s Hope as the colony established on LV426.

All in all, a hell of a game, right down to PFC Hudson’s last stand in the temple! And we should add, this got the attention of none other than Black Library author himself, Gav Thorpe!

So there you have it, a Gav Thorpe- approved battle report!

Phew – we’re going to go lie down after that one, so until next time, stay thrifty out there and see you soon!

Another Epic Scratchbuild! DIY Great Gargant

Yeah, so the other day we were meant to be working on our entry for the DakkaDakka League Of Extraordinary Riveters terrain competition… and then something went wrong..

(by the way – if you’re reading this, Wyloch, then this is for YOU! 😉 )

Must.. glue.. things…
Must.. glue..more.. things.. yoghurt pot, bottle caps, glue lid, cardboard
Armour plating complete
“Eyes” done with green stuff, rivets done with fast drying PVA applied with a cocktail stick
Chainsword and gatling cannon added
More rivets….
Feet! Actually carved from foamboard and then wrapped in cardboard… then more rivets added
Primed! Now it’s looking like a model…
Attempt at zenithal highlighting… yeah….
And prewash with Vallejo black ink – didn’t quite go to plan…

…..aaaand who wants to see it in red?

Red basecoat, smokey ink pin was – white undercoat for the yellow areas, which then got a thin wash of Vallejo Skin Wash.. weathering was sponge chipping, first black and then boltgun metal
Side view
Pipework on the rear, courtesy of some sprue offcuts 

Chainsaw arm reinforced with more sprue offcuts
Hmm… what could make a Warlord princeps think “oh, sh*t” 

Yeah, I’m going to have to go and build my Imperator after all
Hmm… something of a scale issue…
But there again, weren’t gargants and titans always undersized? I’m sure we’ll figure something out..

We’ve really got the bug for scratchbuilding Epic stuff now, so stay tuned for more! Till next time, keep hoarding that recycling….

One Page Carnage – Age Of Fantasy: Regiments AAR

So the other week, after seeing numerous Wyloch battle reports, we succumbed to “monkey see, monkey do”, downloaded the rules and took them for a spin ourselves.

And there was much rejoicing.

So we figured, let’s try out some of the other rulesets – with summer evenings scratching my fantasy itch, and having recently painted up a whole sh*tload of 1/72 Ratmen (who are in NO WAY anything to do with GW Skaven, just so we’re clear)

Rules and army lists available here: onepagerules.com

Ratmen:

Warlord [1] 3+ 3+ 2x Hand Weapons (A3) +5pts Tail Knife (+1A in melee) +5ptsVenom Blade (Poison in melee) +5pts Hero, Tough(3)

Warriors [16] 5+ 5+ Hand Weapons (A1)

Slaves [16] 6+ 6+ Hand Weapons (A1)

Monks [8] 5+ 5+ Censer Flails (A1, Poison) Furious

Poison Grenadiers [5] 5+ 5+ Poison Grenades (12”, A1, Poison), Hand Weapons (A1)

Storm Troopers [10] 4+ 4+ Halberds (A1, AP(1))

Slaves [16] 6+ 6+ Slings (18”, A1)

Humans:

Captain [1] 3+ 4+ Hand Weapon (A2) Hero, Tough(3) Inspiring, on Horse – Hooves (A1), Fast

Marksmen [20] 5+ 6+ Rifles (24”, A1, AP(1)), Hand Weapons (A1)

Infantrymen [20] 5+ 5+ Halberds (A1, AP(1))

Light Cavalry [5] 5+ 5+ Hand Weapons (A1) Fast

 

Deployment:

The field of battle
Human forces line up, riflemen on the ridge covering the infantry about to advance into the ruined village
Ratmen line up opposite, slaves with “slings” on the extreme left flank
Poison grenadiers loiter in the centre, looking for targets of opportunity
Out on the far right Ratmen flank, the Slave unit is tasked with holding an uncontested objective
The two forces face off…
Who will prevail?

Turn 1

Both sides advance into the ruined village, looking to claim the densely packed objectives
Poison Grenadiers draw first blood, downing a cavalryman with a grenade
Whilst out on the Ratmen left flank, Slaves advance to seize their first objective

Turn 2

In the centre, human cavalry led by the Captain bear down on the Poison Grenadiers, killing two and forcing the others to withdraw, while the Slave unit bears down on another objective and battle is joined in the ruined village..
Human infantry engage the block of Ratmen warriors in the village streets
After driving them off, however, the Ratmen Stormtroopers pitch in!
Meanwhile the Captain leads the cavalry against the remaining Poison Grenadiers
But another cavalryman falls to their arcane lethal devices!
Archer slaves advance on the riflemen, albeit largely ineffectually – rifle fire drops four slaves and a few warriors, while infantry engage rat stormtroopers and Warlord in the village centre

Bloody gutter fighting around the ruins
After selflessly letting his bodyguard weather the melee attacks, the Ratman Warlord wades in!

By this point both sides had secured two objectives, but losses on the human side were mounting up more rapidly than the more numerous Ratmen – could superior human firepower prevail?

 Turn 3

Slaves are moving in in a pincer movement while Stormtroopers rush the human infantry from the rear
Carnage in the streets, causing the human infantry to Waver
Who quickly rally to return the favour, charging the Stormtroopers in the rear..
Riflemen pour fire into the Ratmen, retreating out of arrow range- they successfully wipe out half the Warriors, causing them to Waver

As we ended Turn 3, It was 4-1 to the Ratmen in terms of objectives secured as superior numbers were beginning to tell..

Turn 4 (Final Turn)

Between the Warriors, the Stormtroopers and the Warlord, that’s it for the human infantry!
Ratmen advance steadily, arrows falling amongst the riflemen
The Captain takes down the last Poison Grenadier, settling a rather personal feud..
And as the Slaves turn to face the cavalry remnants and the archers advance onto the ridge to take on the remaining riflemen, it’s 3 to the Ratmen, 1 contested and 1 for the humans… and that’s it!

Heavy losses all round but the vastly superior numbers of Ratmen were better placed to soak them up, and I think I really needed to focus absolutely everything on annihilating one unit at a time – rather than getting my riflemen duelling with the archers and the cavalry mixing it up with Poison Grenadiers, we should have plowed everything into hammering the central Ratmen units the infantry were facing… still, plenty of time for another game!

Once again, a really fun game from the One Page Rules folks and a great “introductory” wargame – you can play this one with the nippers (and I intend to once my youngling stops regarding dice as tasty snack treats) as well as your mates and having everything immediately accessible is a big help keeping the game flowing. I could say it’s almost too simplistic, but… the guy’s stated intent was to produce a game that could fit onto one page! It’s a cracking fun game and a great framework to houserule extra bits and pieces on if you want more depth, and there’s plenty that we’ve learned about game design and economical rules writing that will be making it’s way into our next series of releases (probably next year sometime, don’t hold your breath!).

Meanwhile we’ve got some scenery to paint for the League Of Extraordinary Riveters on Dakkadakka.com, and something pretty cool (and big.. and VERY red) on the horizon to show off… stay thrifty out there, we’ll be back soon!

I Have Seen The Future…. and it is GRIMDARK!

As some of you know, Jim and I are basically Wyloch groupies, and have been ever since we stumbled across his series on how to craft DIY 40K vehicles, skimmers, walkers etc out of hot glue and random crap he has lying around the house. He’s basically nerd MacGyver.

Anyhoo, recently he’s been putting up some battle reports using the system formerly known as 1page40k – Grimdark Future. This is billed as a fast playing, easy to use, quick and dirty version of the 40k we all know and sort-of-love, sort-of-loathe. Rules and army lists are free to download from the One Page Rules website here. And seeing as we are drawn to free stuff like a moth to the flame of a slow burning crack pipe, we were all over this.

Jim took the Skooderia as Orc Marauders, I took the Hazzard 1977th as Human Defence Force. Long story here, but basically I feel the Leman Russ I built out of cardboard owes me some serious f*cking karma after it’s traumatic birth. OPR designer Gaetano Ferrara recommends 750pts per side to start, but because we were using smaller models we expanded up to 1000pts.

Well, it made sense at the time.

Anyway, lists:

Da Orc Marauders!
Warlord [1] 3+

(shoots at 5+)

4+ Twin Carbine (18”, A4)

, CCW (A3)

Bad Shot, Furious, Hero, Tough(3)   65pts
Orcs [10] 4+

(shoots at 5+)

5+ Carbines (18”, A2)

, CCWs (A2)

1 Rocket Launcher

(24”, A1, AP(3), Deadly(3))

1 Heavy Machinegun (36”, A3, AP(1))

Bad Shot, Furious   215pts

RT -280

Commando Orcs [5] 4+

(shoots at 5+)

5+ Pistols (12”, A1), CCWs (A2)

1 Flamethrower (12”, A6)

Bad Shot, Furious, Scout, Stealth, Strider   145pts

RT 425

Power Armor Orcs [3] 3+

(shoots at 5+)

2+ Carbines (18”, A2), Energy Fists (A3, AP(2)) Bad Shot, Furious, Slow, Tough(6)   395pts

RT 820

Truck [1] 4+ 2+ Heavy Machinegun (36”, A3, AP(1)), Crew (A1) Bad Shot, Fast, Impact(3), Tough(6), Transport(11) Battle Ram (Strider)

Red Paint Job (moves +3” on Advance and +6” on Rush/Charge actions)

180pts

RT 1000

The Human Defence Force musters!

Commander [1] 4+ 5+ Assault Rifle (24”, A1), Energy Sword (A2, AP(1)) Commander, Hero, Tough(3)  55pts

Psychic [1] 5+ 5+ Pistol (12”, A1), CCW (A2) Hero, Psychic(2), Tough(3)  50pts RT 105

Infantry Squad [5] 5+ 5+ Assault Rifles (24”, A1), CCWs (A1) –  90pts

includes Weapon Teams [3] 5+ 5+ Missile Launcher – pick one each turn: HE (48”, A1, Blast(3))AT (48”, A1, AP(3), Deadly(3)), CCWs (A1) Tough(3)   RT195

Conscripts [10] 6+ 5+ Assault Rifles (24”, A1), CCWs (A1) – – 60pts RT 255

Weapon Teams [3] 5+ 5+ Heavy Machineguns (36”, A3, AP(1)), CCWs (A1) Tough(3)  115pts RT370

Weapon Teams [3] 5+ 5+ Missile Launcher – pick one each turn: HE (48”, A1, Blast(3)) AT (48”, A1, AP(3), Deadly(3)), CCWs (A1) Tough(3) 120pts RT490

Weapon Teams [3] 5+ 5+ Laser Cannon (48”,A1,AP(4),Deadly(3)), CCWs (A1) Tough(3)  125pts RT 615

Battle Tank [1] 4+ 2+ Nova Cannon (36”, A1, AP(1), Blast(6)), Laser Cannon (48”,A1,AP(4),Deadly(3)), Crew (A1) Fast, Impact(3), Tough(12)  2x Heavy Machineguns (36”,A3,AP(1)) Storm Rifle (24”, A2)  Light Machinegun (36”, A3) 385pts RT 1000

We set up terrain with a ruined village to the east and a disused plasma generator station to the west, set objectives (one of the generators, central hill, ruined church and a ruined shop)…and GAME ON!

Human Defence Force won the roll off and force the Orcs to deploy first:

Jim’s ladz took the southern table edge, concentrating forces in the village – effectively conceding the plasma generator but with the intent of focusing on the central three and hoping to overwhelm the HDF at short range
Big Red packed with Warlord, Power Armoured Orcs and Commando Orcs with the task of seizing and holding the two village objectives. Meanwhile the other mob would head for the central objective in  the hills
HDF infantry cluster in cover opposing the main orc force – commander, infantry and conscripts along with heavy machinegun team
The HDF is ready – Hoo-AH!

And battle was joined!

Action erupts almost immediately as the Warlord, the Commando Orcs and the Power Armoured Orcs leap off their transport and straight away mix it up with the HDF heavy machinegun team – losing a PA Orc and another wounded
HDF range superiority proving effective as long as humie can keep his distance, but if the Orcs can get in close…
Boyz mob climb the hill, taking an objective and lobbing a grenade into the HDF squad
HDF missile team open up on da boyz
The General wades in to the fray
“Where dey all gone?”

 

Transport holds the objective while the Warlord makes his way through the village
Commando Orcs hold the forward ruins objective, giving supporting fire while the Power Armour Orcs advance on the conscript squad and the Command squad 
As we go into Turn 3, it’s 2 objectives to the Orcs, 1 to the HDF
HDF conscripts play cat and mouse with the VERY tough Power Armour Orcs
The General advances toward the Orc flank, a rolling firestorm…
From their perch near the plasma generator, HDF laser cannon team drop the Warlord
And as the final turn comes to a end, the General crashes into the Orc flank, taking the central objective and massacring the Commando Orcs.

End result, 2 objectives to the HDF (plasma generator and central hill) one to the Orc Marauders (ruined church, held by the transport)

Casualties – HDF lost a weapons team and some of the infantry squad, plus wounded Captain… the Orcs were pretty much down to the transport and their Power Armour elites, and even they were pretty beaten up.

So a pretty decisive victory!

Thoughts on the game? A LOT of fun. Grimdark Future is simple, fast playing and intuitive, absolutely brilliant for a quick throw down kickabout. We did wonder about the balance of point values given the pounding the Orcs took, but Jim did point out the he might just’ve sucked at playing the game.

So, a new system, and props to OPR designer Gaetano Ferrara for the effort he’s put into creating a fun and fast game that really benefits from not being supported by a major model company (more thoughts on that another day). We had a blast and next up on the list is OPR’s “Age Of Fantasy- Regiments” – we’ll let you know!

(Side note – free rules and army lists, 1/72 miniatures, scratchbuilt terrian and vehicles… could this be the cheapest wargame ever played?)

Try these yourself: onepagerules.com

Operation TYRANT- Apocalypse: Earth AAR

With the Soviet offensive of summer 1956 successful in capturing a number of Allied plasma generation facilities, UNIVAC, Majestic 12 and Supreme Allied Command Europe were all agreed to focus their immediate strategy on recapturing these vital installations before Emperor Djugashvilli could build on the momentum the Holy Soviet Army had lmanaged to create (at great cost).

It therefore came as something of a surprise when Stalin’s next move did not come across the front lines in Europe, but a massed amphibious assault on northern Scotland coming from an armada of massive transport submarines. In one of the opening moves, Lt Polikarpov would lead the infantry component of the assault task force assigned to knock out the plasma generator station powering Faslane naval base.

The Scottish campaign was notable for the complete and total inebriation of both sides – commissars would ladle out vodka liberally to the assault troops while the Scottish defended their homeland fuelled on a mix of Iron Bru and McEwan’s. Fighting was close and brutal, fuelled by borscht on the one side and deep fried Mars bars on the other. In the end, however, there could be only one victor.

Welcome to another Apocalypse: Earth megagame! We’ve been planning this for a while to coincide with the 75th anniversary of the D-Day landings and figured doing our own weird war retro sci-fi take on things would be our little (if slightly strange) contribution to commemorating the immense bravery shown that day.

So, without further ado, on to the battle report!

Scenario:

The Soviet force would be landing on the beach from the gigantic transport submarines they had created in secret and infiltrated up to the Scottish coast (which meant no need to scratch build landing craft), and would be landing with the intent to capture the (suspiciously familiar looking) plasma generator station that powered Faslane Naval Base – knocking that out would take down the base forcefields, allowing the next stage of the Soviet invasion.

Task Force Polikarpov, therefore brought EVERYTHING to the battle, including some new recruits to bolster the rifle squads to a full 14 men each. We were also trying something new – grouping the Soviet tanks into platoons, each consisting of two regular gun T-48s and either the Inferna or Elektra assault variant. This meant less flexibility (alternating unit activations favours multiple small units, a fact that the Atlantic Alliance is built around) but also the ability to bring down a LOT of firepower in one go. In short, playing like the slow moving iron clad firestorm the Holy Soviet Army should be!

And their opponents – well, wouldn’t you know it, Buffalo 2-7 had been so badly mauled at Skalk Point they’d been sent back to the UK for training and integrating replacements, so guess who happened to be the sector QRF again? This time the lads would also have help in the form of a League of European Nations platoon, including infantry, an anti-tank laser and some experimental vehicles on their maiden game

Deployment

Klaxons blared inside the Allied command centre.

“Contact – no, wait, multiple contacts!” called out the sonarman monitoring the sonobuoy pickets out in the bay. “Bearing 060 through 065, closing up on the beaches fast.. where the HELL did they come from?”

“One of their damned sorcerers” snarled Lt. Grant. He quickly swallowed the last bite of his bacon sandwich and thumbed the ARPANET transceiver on to the platoon network.

“Buffalo 2-7, this is Sunray. All units stand to. I say again, stand to. Prepare for amphibious assault.”

Around him the troops were already scrambling. Men checked weapons, drivers gunned engines. Grant thumbed the channel.

“Kampfgruppe Hulkenberg, this is Buffalo 2-7 Sunray, we have multiple- “

“We have them too, Lieutenant”. The clipped, precise tones of his European League counterpart cut through the static. “All units moving to prepared positions as rehearsed.”

Grant smiled grimly. “See you on the beach, Nico.”

“It’s a date. Von Hulkenberg out.”

The Allied forces rush to defend Mel Bay! Silverbug gunships anchor the flanks while the Kugelpanzers prepare a point blank defence with their (potentially) devastating laser cannons..
Grant and the Atlantic Alliance infantry cluster on the Allied right
Lt. von Hulkenberg’s platoon take the left, bolstered by Atlantic Alliance vehicles
An wall of steel welcomes the Holy Soviet Army!

Turn 1

The game opened with a salvo of 152mm shells from supporting Soviet naval firepower, smashing an Allied jeep and causing damage to the Kugelpanzer squadron, but no sooner had the ground stopped shaking from the explosions than appeared the gigantic, terrifying form of the Soviet Colossus – Stompy Uncle Joe leading his children to war!

The Holy Soviet Army storms ashore – the Colossus leads the way, incinerating one Kugelpanzer, frying another one with his lightning launcher and lobbing the third one onto an Alliance APC, destroying both! AND THEN finishes off by blowing both missile launchers off a Silverbug with his anti air machineguns – THAT’s how Stompy Uncle Joe rolls..
The Holy Soviet Army barges on to the beach, the brutal firepower of the Rampager’s twin 130mm cannons demolishing a Centurion
Siberian assault troops storm into the fray…
…before being gunned down by Rocketeers!
Soviet infantry push onto the beach, taking fearful losses
Chaos on the Allied left flank!
And just about everywhere else!
Lt. Polikarpov leads his platoon forward
Heavy weapons squad unleash hell on the defenders
Attack Drones bring down a Silverbug
Into the breach, Comrades!
The state of play at the end of turn 1 – the Soviets are ashore but heavy losses on both sides

Turn 2

Once more, the Holy Soviet Army advances into the maelstrom – after the near total demolition of the Soviet infantry in turn 1, we house ruled that any units destroyed in turn 1 could respawn as a second wave in turn 2. Very sportingly, Dan declined to apply this to his left flank tank platoon and limited just to infantry. In fairness, we hadn’t really balanced the armies too closely, it was largely gun and guesswork!
Despite being immobilised, Stompy Uncle Joe manages to grab an Allied APC that ventures too near..
Which he promptly lobs at the sole surviving Centurion, falling short but causing a very spectacular explosion…
Second wave of Soviet infantry charge forward…
A second squad of Siberian assault troops overwhelm the German infantry on the Allied left
The remaining German rifle squad gun down the exposed mutant assault troops

As the second turn ended, the Soviets were ashore with heavy losses – but at the cost of gutting the Allied formations!

Turn 3

Soviet Holy Mystic summons primordial waves of psychic energy to telekinetically lift the last functioning Allied M60A3 and drop it on the second Silverbug, destroying them both in spectacular fashion!
Soviet naval guns blast through the few remaining Atlantic Alliance infantrymen
Surviving Tesla troopers demolish another APC
Stompy Uncle Joe falls to Stinger/ TOW fire

By this time both sides were on the ropes and tottering, but the Soviets had managed to push the Allied forces off the beach, with catastrophic casualties on each side!

Turn 4

Stompy Uncle Joe may have fallen, but he’s still in the fight! Soviet Holy Mystic summons the psychic strength to lift eighty tons of steel and drop it on the sole surviving Allied vehicle..
The subsequent explosion wounds Lt. Grant and kills yet another Alliance rifleman
Allied sniper team knocks out a Tesla trooper’s generator – in response, the surviving trooper fries the sniper team!
Mac and Lt. Grant make a last gasp attack on the Soviet HQ..
But they fail to inflict any damage, and Lt. Polikarpov and his HQ gun them down without mercy!
And with that, the last gasp of Allied resistance falls… the way is open to the plasma generator station!

The pain flared across his temple. Lt. Grant struggled to consciousness to find himself looking into the darkness of a Kalashnikov assault rifle barrel. As he struggled to clear his vision, a second figure in a peaked cap wielding a pistol swam into view.

“Lt. Grant, I presume”, said a Russian voice, “I have been waiting a long time for this..”


So, a Soviet victory! At great cost – HQ, a couple of riflemen, the Mystic and his bodyguard, a Tesla trooper and sniper were literally all that were left. On the Allied side, however, we were down to a German medic armed with a pistol. So, now what for our story? Lt. Grant trying to effect a breakout from a Soviet POW camp? Some more fluff and battle reports on the Scottish Front? Let us know!

On a more serious note, no one reading this will have been unaware of the 75th anniversary of D-Day a few days ago, and certainly that was in our thoughts as we finished this quite epic game.

Dan – “That was a laugh and everything, but f**k me, can you imagine having to do it for real?”

No. No I can’t. We both agreed that neither of us could have done it. But mercifully, we haven’t had to.

So thank you Grandpa. Thank you Grandad. Thank you to all of you who summoned up the courage to do the impossible – not just on D-Day, but the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that, for eleven more months.

Stay thrifty out there and we’ll see you again soon.