That Was Still Another Year That Was – The Inevitable Great Hobby Retrospective of 2023!

Le me blow your mind here. It’s the MID-2020’s X-O. How the hell did that happen? Well, with New Year’s hangovers gradually receding and the faintest hints of my toes reappearing under a belly strained to bursting point with mince pies, wine & (hopefully) medicinal whisky, let me see if I can pin down exactly where the bloody hell 2023 went…

Of course, we all know about the miserable international situation- but given that in early ’22 I was primed for the Threads– style end of the world scenario, it could still be a damn sight worse… against all the odds the Ukrainians are still hanging in there and have managed to chase the Russian Black Sea Fleet away from their attempt to starve half the world despite not technically having a navy, for example, so there are very definitely nuggets of hope to cling on to.. as long as our great and wise leaders don’t choose to suddenly snatch defeat from the jaws of victory… and who knows, maybe if the IDF actually do manage to stamp out Hamas once and for all then maybe the Middle East can start to find a modicum of peace for once and all the poor bastards caught in the crossfire can actually be left alone to live their lives… but that’s as political as I’m getting right now. Y’alls didn’t come to be lectured.

But you DID come to see some toy soldiers, right?

In respect of Dan’s birthday, I managed to track down the latest iteration of a skirmish game that we’d both been hunting for for many a year, which yielded up a couple of great fun little games and some painting tips – we even managed a YouTube video.. and there’s a chance we might manage some more, more on that later…

We kicked off with old school 2nd Ed Space Marine action as conflict tore apart the world of Hazzard with the BIGGEST Epic game we’ve run yet – Redeemers, DIY Guard and Squats held the line against a horde of howling greenskin scum (who have subsequently been reinforced) – and (spoilers) it did.. just… but with a twist that may yet cause further ructions on that tormented world…

We also had great plans for our slow-burning 2nd Ed 40k campaign, cranking out a fair bit of suitably retro terrain, but failed to advance the story much (although you can’t beat the look of Goblin Green bases hitting the tabletop) – however, both the Blood Angels and Black Ork Cav have received some reinforcements (and shout out to Roger from the splendid Rantings From Under The Wargames Table for the very generous gift of MANY BITZ, one of which was used in this build!), and Dan has plans that involve clothes pegs to finish off the few remaining elements of the 3rd Company – which should be interesting…

And then there were our own systems. Atlantic Alliance vs Holy Soviet Empire is still too near the knuckle for either of us to actually enjoy it, but we DID throw down a newly reinforced League Of European Nation against the Atlantic Alliance, throwing a spotlight on some of the fringe conflicts of the Apocalypse War.. before we got into Hyperian Wars, which has been steadily escalating all year before culminating in an almighty conflagration currently taking place in the shed!

I should also give honourable mentions to one or two projects that might not have made the blog – my Epic Squat Goliath Mega Cannon built from a pen, repaints on a couple of scenery pieces… including a newly upcycled satellite dish made from a now defunct satnav holder:

and of course our now traditional Star Wars Epic game, reinforced with an air wing and new infantry! With the advent of GW’s Legiones Imperialis and Mantic’s own Epic game it looks like teeny weeny scale games are very much back on the horizon, so nice to be in the mix!

So what’s on the agenda for 2024? Well, there’s a fighting chance we might have some rules published (currently sitting in PagePlus being spellchecked and rewritten)- but in the meantime, plenty of playtesting, plenty of scratchbuilding… and we’re going to start with a game that kick started many folks’ hobby careers.. what could that be?

What indeed…

So that’s our 2024 (roughly) planned – what about you guys? How about our friends out therein hobbyland? Drop us a line and let us know!

A Green Christmas III – Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back In The Shed

Good God. Was it really 2017 when we last did an Epic battle report?

Apparently so.. aww, remember when we thought Donald Trump was a threat to world peace? And that Brexit was a genuine existential problem?

And so we come to 2023, having endured plague, economic catastrophe and war in Europe.. it really is true that you only realise you’re in a Golden Age after its’ gone. Still, at least it can’t get any worse, right?

RIGHT?

Anyway – we figured that a great way to wind up a pretty shitty year would be to get as far away from reality as possible, 38,000 years into the future and return once more to the world of Hazzard. Since our last scrap, we’ve added a HELL of a lot of kit to both the Ork and Imperial sides, not to mention a small contingent of Squat allies – so stay tuned, this should be a good one.

I rolled out Waagh-Bozzhog, recently reinforced with a Death Skull clan – and of course Big Red from a few years ago – and the order of battle was thus:

Evil Sunz clan reinforced with Nobz Warbikes, Gobsmashas, Bowelburnas, Spleenrippas and Mekboy Dragster

Goff Clan reinforced with Lungburstas, Gutrippas and Skullhamma battle fortress

Bad Moon Clan reinforced with Braincrushas, Squig Catapults and Weirdboy Battletowers

Death Skull Clan reinforced with Bonebreaka and Stompas

Ork Warlord & Stompas

Slasher Gargant

“Big Red” – Great Gargant.

This lot topped out at 6,600 points, so yeah – game on!

Jim pondered and decided that after the Redeemers had taken such a kicking in their last game and it would take time to replenish their geneseed, it would be my DIY Guard and his DIY Squats taking centre stage. Standing up to the orkish horde would be:

Squat Warrior Brotherhood

Squat Grand Battery

Squat Colossus

Guard Tactical Infantry Company

Guard Support Infantry Company

Guard Vindicator Company

Guard Leviathan

Guard Sentinel Platoon

Guard Rough Rider Platoon

Marine Whirlwind Battery

Marine Land Raider Company

Marine Veteran Company

So, with forces chosen, we rolled up a battlefield, placed objectives and had at it!

Look at all that delicious cardstock

Battle lines are drawn

The Imperial coalition

My ladz, Waagh-Bozzhog, bigger and stringer than ever!

More shots of da boyz

The Hazzard 1977th prepare to roll forward on the Imperial right flank

“We might need an Imperator…”

With an almighty “WAAAAAAAGH!!!”, the ladz roll forwards – Goffs lead the Death Skulls with Warlord Bozzhog on the Ork left with the Slasher, Big Red anchors the centre, the Bad Moons roll into position to provide fire support and the Evil Sunz zoom off in a furious charge to take out the Squat artillery and tanks

Goffs pour forward along the valley floor, Death Skulls in support

Imperial armour wheels to face the Evil Sunz and protect the Squats

Leviathan faces down the Slasher as the Guard rolls into position

Imperial guns open up on the charging Orks!

Squat Grand Battery, Colossus and infantry all open up on the Evil Sunz, but will it be enough?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FlqUsuTXEA88saT?format=jpg&name=large

Massed fire from the Guard infantry bite into the Deathskulls and strip the power felds off the Slasher, allowing the Leviathan to administer the coup de grace!

On the Imperial left, however, it’s carnage as the Breathless Vengeance falls to massed fire from the Bad Moons

Evil Sunz close assault the Squat Grand Battery, and a couple of the Guard Vindicators to boot

This ends pretty much as expected

Land Raiders & Warlord Titan combine to down Big Red, whilst the combined fire of the Bad Moons and their lethal Weirdboy Battletowers turn the town to rubble, slaughtering the Squat infantry

Evil Sunz are in amongst the Imperial lines, causing havoc but taking serious losses in the process

Goffs charge in as the Death Skulls retreat, whilst Warlord Bozzhog and his Stompa Mob turn their fury on to the Leviathan, destroying it utterly!

Goffs assault into the woods, capturing Objective 7 from the Guard

Carnage across the board! At this point Jim was keeping his Space Marines sheltered for a counterattack, having learned from previous games..

Hard to say who’s winning here…

…but as it turned out, the Imperials had the good fortune to explode both the Gargants from internal fires, and had caused just enough casualties to break the remaining clans! Despite having lost a Land Raider Company, all the Squats, the Leviathan and most of the Vindicators there was still a solid core of Guard forces plus a Veteran Marine company as yet untouched… so yet again, Warlord Bozzhog’s dastardly plans have come to naught!

Jim admitted he really thought that was in the bags for the Boyz, crediting pure luck with the destruction of the Gargants, and part of me agrees woth him… ah well, all the more excuse to reset and go again! And how will the Squat community on Hazzard feel about seeing their forces massacred while the Redeemers Space Marines cowered in their Rhinos, I wonder… might have the war on Hazard taken another turn??

Stay thrifty out there, see you soon!

That Was Yet Another Year That Was – The Great Hobby Retrospective, 2022

Before we start, allow me to apologise – I’m full of Christmas Lurgi, and therefore, whisky. For it heals ALL – well, I hope it does, at least.

It has been quite the year, and for all the wrong reasons – after the grinding misery of COVID and the shortages and disruptions that followed (and Lewis Hamilton being ROBBED, but that’s another story), it looked like this might finally be the year when the 20’s righted themselves and got going properly. And for a brief window of time that looked like it might happen.

And then… yeah, we all know what happened. A lunatic septagenarian with delusions of grandeur decides to try and resurrect his empire…  and back we go into permacrisis. I wrote a brief but impassioned – some might reasonably say hysterical – analysis early on but I’m not going to apologise for that. If you’re of a similar vintage to Dan & I, then the world was always divided into NATO vs Warsaw Pact.. and on Feb 24 2022, it looked like the Warsaw Pact was rolling West. Like most people I fell into the trap of over estimating the Russians and underestimating the Ukrainians. That first weekend, watching the Ukrainian authorities handing out rifles to untrained civilians to defend Kyiv, the monstrous Russian column rolling in from the north… you just wanted to weep.

But we were wrong, weren’t we? The Battle Of Kyiv never happened. That monstrous Russian armoured column ran out of fuel and food. The Russians proved themselves to be staggeringly incompetent whilst the Ukrainians have proved themselves staggeringly resilient, brave and ingenious and have managed to inflict stunning reverses onto what we all believed was a peer threat to the US.. I’ve said it several times but I think NATO should be applying to join Ukraine rather than the other way around.

But this is not an analysis of the war. There’s enough of that out there, much of it done by those far more studied than I – and let’s not forget, it’s not over yet. I have a nasty suspicion, for example, that Ukrainian casualties are probably far worse than we’re comfortable thinking about… anyway, suffice it to say that’s why you haven’t seen too much of Lt. Grant and Lt. Polikarpov this year – it’s no fun playing the cartoonishly evil Soviet villain when there’s a real one killing real people near where you went on holiday back in 2013.

So, with our own game on the back burner, what did we get done?

Well, quite a bit, actually. A LOT of red paint applied on Dan’s side of things as the 1991 Blood Angels got a motor pool, some characters and – after a hiatus when my esteemed colleague discovered that freehand painting (if you have never done any of it before) is actually quite tricky – actually got their first game in! And in response, I bashed together all the Ork bits I had to hand and came up with an OPFOR – Da Black Ork Cav! There’s a lot still to do but it’s looking good so far.

I also managed to get my Levy platoon sorted for Firefight and the lads got their first game in, which is something we’ll be picking up again in the next few weeks, but my pet project for the year was (of course) Epic Squats! Evidently GW agreed with me as the Leagues Of Votann are the new big thing in 40k.. but my project is a lot more old school, based on the Squat force Commissar Yarrick fought with in the original Battle Of Golgotha (I’ve even done some themed terrain..)! So far the infantry complement is done, as is the Grand Battery, and although I haven’t tackled the Guild Biker force yet I’ve got some ideas on that… granny grating and greenstuff, is there anything they can’t do? 😉 And you may have seen my recent post in which a defunct asthma inhaler, with the help of some foamboard and various other bits and pieces, became a fully equipped Colossus! Which as we speak is out in the shed helping to shore up the defences of the world of Hazzard against the rampaging Ork hordes of Waagh-Bozzhog.. yep, we’re doing an Epic Rematch, so stay tuned for that!

Speaking of Orks, Dan reinforced them with a new Deathskull clan and -fanfare please – their 20mm fantasy counterparts are now complete! Although Dan – being Dan- is now pondering war machines and artillery support for them.. they’ve seen a few scraps to and acquitted themselves pretty tidily. And the flags are a very nice touch – as are the ones he added to the DIY Epic Imperial Guard.

And then there were the reinforcements for both epic scale Star Wars Empire & Rebel Scum – and a VERY entertaining game pitting them against each other over a brand new Imperial communications facility. Oh, and yes, we did do Yonkers – Lt. Grant did get to come out to play, if briefly!

So, we made it out of 2022, what of ’23? Dan has sworn faithfully to finish up the Blood Angels – and in fairness, he’s got the infantry complement complete – and we’ve got the next instalment of the Armageddon Diaries as the Marines can’t leave their gallant Captain Tycho in the villainous hands of Da Black Ork Cav.. for me, it’s building the aforementioned Cav up to full strength and getting the Squats into a more cohesive force.

And hopefully, this could be the year where history just stops happening for a bit – no more war, no more pandemics, no more upheaval. I think we can all raise a glass to that. Let’s end things with a couple of shots of the Epic game currently raging out in the shed:

Say thrifty out there, we’ll see you soon.

Goin’ Street Legal – Tidying Up The Guard

This was supposed to be an easy one….

So, back in the days of M2 992 when the 2nd edition of Space Marine came out, supplemented by Armies Of The Imperium, the Guard got a few tricks that haven’t endured to the present day. Crucially – as GW only had a limited number of model kits available – the Rhino was a standardised piece of kit available to Guard and Astartes forces alike.

Although your common or garden Guardsman is expected to footslog into battle and basically stand and die, under 2nd Ed Epic all Guard company HQs were all issued with Rhinos and furthermore each Guard company got issued a Commissar – essentially an independent morale/ political officer type, this is a useful unit able to act independently, handy in close combat and crucially able to reinforce the slightly inflexible Guard command structure by relaying orders and taking command over Guard units left leaderless. These units were free, and looked to be hugely useful – so in order to make the Granny Grating Guard a fully “street legal” playable force under 2nd Edition, I needed to make some.

Infantry were a piece of cake – usual cross shapes, with a slight alteration for the Commissar to represent his chainsword and a little smear of greenstuff for his cape. I painted the Guardsmen escorting him in the usual manner, while the Commissars themselves got funky red caps with black capes (I know, capes are pretty wizard) and shiny Vallejo Mithril Silver chainswords.

The Rhinos were a slightly trickier affair – I went back to the Vindicators from back in… 2019? The Before Times, the Long Long Ago and copied the dimensions, just leaving off the reinforcement glacis plate and unfeasibly large gun and adding a couple of hatches from thin cardboard (the circular ones were done with my hole punch), and the details of boltguns and exhausts were done with granny grating offcuts. I’ve got into a new technique with these – holding them with tweezers und using a mix of superglue and tacky PVA. The superglue provides the initial hold, the PVA provides are stringer more flexible bond after it dries.

I primed everything white because 1992, and painted with the same pattern of Granite Dust house paint/ Green Wash/ Brown wash/ Black wash/ Granite Dust Drybrush for the uniform bits. Craft black for the commissars, and following the “Assault On Barbarius” battle report forces I added yellow and blue stripes for the HQ vehicles.

Back when I last gave this project some love, John@justneedsvarnish mentioned that they could use some flags… now, I could have got all smug and snarky -“Oh yes, everyone knows that all sci-fi armies use banners to denote their valuable command units, totally tactically sound” – except of course, that he’s dead right. You can’t do ’90s GW without flags. So I copied the infantry company HQ flags as best I could onto paper and superglued them onto poles made from about 15mm of straightened out, snipped up paperclip.. and I also added some flags to the HQ units of the other companies and the Leviathan, using the white/red/white army ID symbol the army uses on its’ right front quarters.

So with that done, pics:

Commissars rocking the black and red finish, HQs in blue (Tactical company) and yellow (Heavy Company)

HQs – I think these came out the best tbh

Commissars, all ready and decked out to ensure faith in the Emperor

The force in its entirety, all ready to hit the table!

So that gets us to:

Imperial Guard Vindicator Company – 450pts, Break Point 5, Morale 4+ ,VPs 5

Imperial Guard Tactical Company – 600pts, Break Point 17, Morale 4+, VPs 6

Imperial Guard Heavy Company – 600pts, Break Point 9, Morale 4+, VPs 6

Imperial Guard Leviathan – 350pts, 4 VPs

Imperial Guard Sentinel Squadron – 100pts, Break Point 3, Morale 4+, VPs 1

Imperial Guard Rough Rider Squadron – 150pts, Break Point 5, Morale 4+, VPs 2
3 x Commissars – Free

So that’s a cool 2250pts of Epic to throw down with, not enough for a BIG big game, but enough for a decent enough scuffle – unfortunately Skinflint HQ is out of action for the moment (redecoration), but it’s nice to know the Hazzard PDF can throw something into the field to combat Waaagh- Bozzhog!

Slava Ukrainia, see you again soon

Alternative Alternative Armies – The Valiant 44th Free Companies Levy

We’ve all been there. It happened with Da Skooderia. It happened with the Virum Nascii. That idea, the initial rush of enthusiasm… and then nothing.

Such it was with this guy – a Valiant Miniatures “1/72” German converted with cardboard, greenstuff and the now infamous granny grating into a sci-fi trooper with an unfeasibly big gun. I was pleased with the results, and resolved to make him some friends.

And then I did nothing about it. For a year.. or close to it.

But then the other week I got to thinking, “I could just go for a bit of Firefight…” – Dan offered the use of his gloriously retro Blood Angels to play the part of the Crusaders (humanity’s power armoured elites), I ordered up a load of bases from eBay and we were rolling once more!

Greenstuff for face coverings (COVID security) and kneepads – we’ll assume all troops are fully vaccinated too!

Granny grating to turn those Mausers and StG 44s into something suitably futuristic and sci fi! Cardboard cut to fit body armour plates – yeah, won’t be winning any awards on that anytime soon..

Voila, a platoon of the Free Companies’ finest!

Groundwork – I knocked up a texture paste of filler powder, PVA and some crud off the garage floor, then when that was dry sprinkled yet more garage floor crud (sawdust, cat litter, gravel chips) on them, lots of lovely texture, all for free! And crucially these days, I know to do this pre-priming…

Primed white and hit with base colours – the tan is just a craft paint, the body armour is Vallejo Russian green (a colour we’re seeing a worryingly large amount of in real life at the time of writing..)

The Valiant 44th (because that’s the number of the TRUE F1 World Champion!) on patrol!

Support weapon – triple barrelled gatling/multilaser/heavy blaster thing

Lieutenant, aka “Lute” or “first pip” (according to the rulebook fluff)

Alongside a 2nd Ed Grot and GLORIOUSLY TECHNICOLOUR Marine

The lads in action during their training missions – close assault here….

Using heavy weapons to clear a roadblock

House clearance led by Crusader NCO (who promptly got himself killed.. meaning the Levy NCO had to practice taking command… yeah, sounds like a plausible training mission!

The first mission of the rulebook campaign saw the Crusader NCO taking the squad out on a patrol, clearing a building. This saw them first ambushed by a Goblin patrol in the garden in front of the house:

Off we go, out on patrol…

Ambushed by Shia Khan Goblins!

A brief scuffle sees the Goblins cut down almost to a man, the survivor flees into the house..

Preparing to assault, but there’s a second Goblin patrol in ambush!

Fast & furious action sees the Goblins annihilated, but it’s a close run thing!

Sniper, booby trap and radpit traps all fail to slow our lads down, and here we see a celebratory picture of the lads completing their first patrol!

We’re getting the hang of “Firefight” now, and it’s a really fun game – even though the lads emerged unscathed, gunning down the opposition, it was a much closer run thing than the result might show! If you’ve never investigated this unsung 90s classic, I thoroughly advise you to do so – low model count, fast paced rules, neat campaign system.. perfect for a Friday night in when the weather is vicious!

The Levy platoon is 18 strong which leaves me 40+ Valiant models to do something with… and I have me an idea… watch this space!

Stay thrifty out there and see you soon!

Back To The Granny Grating – DIY Epic Sentinels

How do again world. Having built up a nice head of steam painting Captain Tycho and being within touching distance of finishing my Retro Blood Angels, it makes perfect sense to leave them once again to concentrate on something else.. but as my partner in thrift mentioned, sometimes you just want those little wins, and the idea of a quick and simple project lit a fire under me.

In these days of economic apocalypse where just heating your house seems to require working three jobs (and one of them being a hedge fund manager), the casual wargamer could be forgiven for thinking that the Epic Imperial Guard army he once coveted as a kid would remain out of reach forever…

Look at the top caption – a glorious sight, one’s heart fills to bursting with pride in the Hammer Of The Emperor

Guess again.

Some of you have already seen the Granny Grating Imperial Guard force taking shape over the last couple of years (and I certainly can’t take credit for the idea) and as the project as taken on a life of it’s own I’ve started to base it more and more on this force from the “Assault On Barbarius” battle from 2nd Ed Space Marine back in the early 90s. We’ve got the infantry component and a contingent of Rough Riders, plus a Vindicator company (the Guard could take them way back when) and of course the DIY Leviathan. The Assault On Barbarius force also called for (amongst other things) a squadron of Sentinels, and I quickly saw how a bit of granny grating and greenstuff could take care of that. A couple of evenings later – done!

The infamous “Eggs On Legs”! Granny grating frame (3 up and one across, I believe), vaguely elliptical blob of greenstuff for the cockpit, “L” shape greenstuff for weapon and pilot. Bases 20mm single corrugated cardboard from wine box. Shown here about to be primed white, as was the style of the time.

Up close and personal- these are never going to fool anyone that they’re GW originals, but it’s clear what they’re supposed to be.

The army (as it stands) deployed on the DIY battle mat..

A few units to go before we’re “street legal” but I’m pretty pleased so far

“Wow.. how much did all this cost you?” “So far? About £5”

So there we go, another unit added to the Hazzard 1977th – for free! Stay safe and sane, see you soon

The Big One Pt.3 – Conclusion!

(NB – If you’re new here, go check out Parts 1 & Part 2, because otherwise NONE of this is going to make any sense…)

As we left matters at the end of turn 2, the central valley was awash with (now largely dead) Ratmen, but the objective – the crashed spaceship – was now in the hands of a regiment of humble Virum Nascii slaves and heading towards the Baddies’ table edge, and to make things worse the sorcerous cabal of the People’s Front Of Hazzard 237th Freedom Brigade had managed to conjure up a wall of psychic fire across the main approach route!

On the Goodies’ side, the PSLA (or Imperial Guard, depending on your viewpoint) finally showed up, adding a decent chunk of firepower, but as things stood, firepower was not the issue, we had plenty of that – getting it where it was needed was the problem!

Over on the Baddies’ table edge, Dan cackled malevolently as the Holy Soviet Army’s BIG GUNS appeared, in the form of Stompy Uncle Joe and the IS-6 Rampager (which would prove itself almost offensively useless, but there we go) and another regiment of Orcs arrived, but two more still languished on the sidelines – clearly too thick to find the batlefield.. and off we went for the next turn!

Turn 3 –

Baddies’ reinforcements – Stompy Uncle Joe turns up in the power station, the Rampager in the centre with another block of Orcs, and pay attention to the regiment of Virum Nascii Warriors top left- they’ll be important later on….

Goodies’ reinforcements hit the beach! The Guard arrive, along with the (literal) cavalry from the Ancien Regime, as well as the rest of the League Of European Nations troops

The Baddies secure the initiative and opt to move first – Virum Nascii Vrilseers conjure up a hole in reality for the Slaves carrying the spaceship to jump into, but it goes awry, scattering toward the power plant

Atlantic Alliance Silverbugs race forwards, gunning down Virum Nascii slaves and suppressing them

Just as her crew was readying to immolate the advancing Sky Marines, Inferna is riddled with Stinger TOW ADATS and Roswellium-tipped cannon rounds, exploding spectacularly!

Ancien Regime grenadiers finish off the remaining Ratmen in the valley, being reduced to just three men in the process!

Although the Virum Nascii slave regiment is now suppressed and unable to move, No. 2 Rifle squad picks up the spaceship and begins to move back towards the Baddies’ table edge!

A strong roll of Baddie activations sees the IS-6 Rampager managing to knock down a chain link fence, but despite twin 140mm cannons, two heavy and four light machineguns…. that’s all it accomplishes…. meanwhile the Orc Archer regiment picks up the crashed spaceship and hands it over to No. 3 Rifle squad who move further back toward the Baddie table edge – a very skilful hand of “Pass The Spaceship” by Dan!

Newly arrived regiment of Orc Warriors politely thank No. 3 squad and make off yet further with the crashed spaceship!

Although almost all of the Virum Nascii are dead by this point, a survivng Vrilfire rifle team manages to take down two Jagers! Such is the curse of the newly painted model…

Desperate to clear a path through to the rapidly disappearing objective, the M42 Stealth Tank decloaks and twin autocannons lay waste to Da Skooderia, leaving only the Warboss…

… who then rolls Frenzy, clearly thinking “Sod it – WAAAAAGH!!!” and charges straight up to engage Buffalo 2-7s HQ, killing Lt. Grant before Platoon Sgt. Mcauliffe finishes him off!

The surviving T-48 swings into position to block off the valley – between the wrecked vehicles and the wall of psychic fire, there is now no way through for the Goodie troops, it’s all down to the Rocketeers and Silverbugs..

… and then from out of the power plant comes Stompy Uncle Joe, the massive Soviet war mech immolating a Silverbug with his lightning launcher (taking out a Virum Nascii vrilrifle team as collateral damage, but hey)

The Goodies are throwing everything they’ve got in an attempt to force a passage – on the left the Sky Marines are advancing briskly through the hills to take on the remains of Da Skooderia, while Crimson Fists supported by a Centurion hammer at the centre, but the Baddies are getting away…

Remember the Ratmen warrior regiment from earlier? Well so did the PFH 237th’s cabal of sorcerers, successfully managing to teleport it in base to base contact with the Orcs currently carrying the spaceship..

With the dice gods smiling on him, Dan then successfully activates them (being teleported doesn’t mean they’ve had a turn yet) and they shoulder the spacecraft – then leg it straight off the board! It’s a firm victory for the Baddies!

So there you have it, a very smart Hail Mary play with a little luck on his side and my opponent snares victory! In fairness, had Dan not had the luck he would have won the next turn anyway, there was no way I was going to be able to get enough firepower into position to stop his troops running off with the objective. He damn near won at the start of turn 3 anyway, as the Virum Nascii Vrilseers created a reality tunnel for the Slaves to jump in to – had I not got lucky with it scattering, and not managed to suppress them, he would have had it in the bag right then.

Thoughts? Well, I think I did my usual trick of playing it like a straight up battle where the objective was to destroy the opponent – Dan on the other hand actually played the scenario… which was even more galling because I wrote the scenario!!! Reviewing the battle, he played very cleverly, and with all the ruthlessness that befits a Baddie general – the sacrifice of the Virum Nascii “rat bombing” me on Turn 2 and using the tough-as-nails Skooderia units to stymie me in the centre, then blocking the valley choke point with a psychic fire barrier… well played, sir, well played!

Right, after that MAMMOTH battle report I shall be handing the keys over to my colleague and going and lying on the sofa with a wet flannel over my head and quite possibly a large gin on standby…

Stay safe, healthy and thrifty out there wherever you may be in hobbyland, we’ll see you very soon!

The Big One (Pt. 1)

We’re FREEEEEEEEEE!

Sorta.

And what better way to celebrate our new found glorious, double-jabbed-plus-two-weeks liberty than by reinstating our Grand Summer Megagame…

Now, admittedly, the last time we did this we managed to precipitate the Great Plague Of 2020, so it’s entirely possible that in a couple of months we’ll be staring at a blank screen lamenting the collapse of humanity to an alien invasion… but we’re willing to take that risk. Let’s break out the toy soldiers!

As before, the mantra was WE BRING EVERONE.

So that’s all the factions we’d built in 20mm for Apocalypse: Earth, Hyperian Wars and Future Force Warrior – seeing as these three games are all built around the same basic principles, they’ve proved to be pretty compatible. And as before, we divided them into two rough factions, “goodies” and “baddies”. Orders of battle below:

Goodies:

Atlantic Alliance (A:E)

League Of European Nations (A:E)

People’s State Liberation Army 1977th Guards Regiment (FFW)

People’s State Liberation Army Special Forces “Crimson Fist” Squadron (FFW)

Ancien Regime (HW)

Grand Alliance Sky Marines (HW)

Baddies:

Holy Soviet Empire (A:E)

Da Skooderia (FFW)

People’s Front Of Hazzard 37th Freedom Brigade (with associated civilian elements) (FFW)

Lord Ratticus’ Virum Nascii Horde (HW)

Orcs (HW)

Last time out the baddies had been significantly outnumbered and outgunned, but we’d finished adding some special weapons to the Virum Nascii, not to mention about 100 fantasy Orcs, the PFH rebels with their cabal of powerful psychics and a cloud of armed civilians… should be a close run thing!

We also faced a problem this time – having EVERYONE on the table was just not going to work – there just wasn’t room- so we came up with a different scenario to the basic “Kill ‘Em All” approach of last time. This time we placed an objective – in this instance a downed spaceship (3D printer Dan’s son had lovingly assembled and then sat on) – dead centre. The aim would be to pick up the spaceship and move it off your table – the unit carrying the spaceship would only be able to move at half speed and the objective would only be able to captured from Turn 2 onwards.

For deployment, all forces would be available but each unit would have to pass a reaction roll to appear.. each subsequent turn that roll would get a +1 bonus, then an extra +1 the turn after that and so on.

We set the table up with all the biggies – Mel Bay, Bose Cliffs, Skalk Point and the plasma reactors, ruins , BIG RUINS, and military buildings – with half the table rural and half urban, and I’ve got to say, biased as I am it all looked GOOD. Check it out:

Into The Valley Of Death….

We diced for table edge – the Baddies winning and choosing the ruined city, leaving the Goodies with the beach landing – and then we began to deploy units alternately as per the Apocalypse Earth rulebook, rolling for availability as we went…

Goodies hit the beach – although NONE of ze Churmans or the PSLA 1977th made their rolls, we got the Fists, most of the Atlantic Alliance and the Sky Marines

The Baddies rolled with most of the Holy Soviet Army (Stompy Uncle Joe and the Rampager having failed their reaction rolls), Da Skooderia, the People’s Front Of Hazzard 237th – the Orcs failed their rolls and mysteriously there was no sign of the Virum Nascii….

Birds’ eye view..

And thus the stage was set for quite the showdown – stay tuned for the next episode!

The Valiant Conundrum

We live in strange and confusing times. Fake news, claims and counter-claims.. it seems like everyone has an agenda these days and it’s hard to know who to trust. But here at Skinflint HQ, we strip away the opinions and get straight to the facts, to answer the burning question so many of you want answered.

Just how well do Valiant Miniatures’ “heroic 20mm” WW2 miniatures scale with 40k figures?

I set out to find out – inadvertently ordering a full box rather than the single sprue I had planned to, but not going to argue with the results, 65 figures for £14.95! So maybe that Imperial Guard army you fancied doing isn’t so far out of reach?

I had actually got something slightly different in mind (assuming the results of my experiments were up to par) – we’ve already got the Guard for 40k in 20mm, and just doing the same thing in a slightly different scale seems a bit pointless to me (not to say we won’t do that at some point, but still) – I had actually planned to build a Levy platoon for Firefight, to work through the campaign in the rulebook, probably for a bit of Deadzone too, and I was planning to give them a bit of a “Colonial Marines” kind of vibe to try out another lost system from the 90s… more on that another day!

For my test figure, I based one of the little guys (late WW2 German infantry) on a 25mm round base, and after having drawn inspiration from this thread on TMP, I started to sci-fi him up a bit using card, superglue, granny grating (thanks Dan!) and greenstuff. He got a visor for the helmet (cardboard – this got knocked off during the conversion process and forgotten about, whoops), some body armour over his tunic (cardboard again), a greenstuff facemask – in the grim darkness of the far future, it pays to be COVID-secure – and some granny grating to turn his Mauser rifle into a lasgun/ pulse rifle/ autogun.

Mask, as is de riguer these days…

Body armour and knee pads

Upgunned with granny grating

Next step was basing – a bit of filler to smooth over the lip where the mini joins the base itself, followed by Ye Olde PVA & Sand mix, then a spray with white primer and a thin Smokey Ink wash. I’m not sure this really has an effect on the shading, but as I get older and my eyes start to go, this is really helpful to outline which bit is where on the miniature.

And the result:

Now we’re getting the 40k vibe..

I took my cue from the “Aliens” and “Avatar” films for the paint job, going with a craft tan base coat and a digital (ish) camo pattern using Army Painter Goblin Green, Vallejo Russian Green, Olive Drab and German Grey, all unified with a thin Smokey Ink wash and a very light bone drybrush.

I’m pretty happy with the result, he’ll do well for Firefight once he’s got his mates with him and he’s generically sci-fi enough to work in a variety of settings. And I’ve got 64 friends for him, all for under £15!

And now the answer you’ve all been waiting for – here he is with some 40k minis, an Ork, a Gretchin, most of an RTB 01 Marine and the Genestealers of Hive Fleet Imprudens:

As you can see, he looks pretty good – I think he works as a “true scale” human, he’s a bit puny looking compared to the Ork, but that’s kind of how it should be.. he’s taller than the Gretchin but much less imposing than the Marine, and that again is how it should be. So maybe those folks looking for “true scale” Marines are missing the point, the actual way to go is to downsize the humans?

Anyway, that’s it for now, I’ve got a LOT of superglueing to do to build a platoon of these guys! Stay safe and thrifty out there, we’re getting there now….

That Was The Year That Was… The Great Hobby Retrospective Post 2020

Well, thank Christ that’s over.

Said roughly eight billion people all around the world…. yes, COVID is still around and causing misery and havoc, but now the vaccines are rolling out and we can start to think about returning to normality, or something close to it by spring/ summer. In the words of the indomitable Mel The Terrain Tutor, let’s keep calm and crack on – and in keeping with tradition, here’s our hobby review of 2020:

Stats wise, it was a pretty good one – 18, 065 views up from 16,399 in 2019, 8265 visitors up from 7,578, 171 likes up from 141, and although comments were down from 157 to 150, WordPress does of course count the comments that we ourselves make, so pretty good number of folks out there engaged with what we do!

Of course, as for 2020 itself……

It all looked so promising this time last year. We kicked things off with the biggest Apocalypse: Earth/ Hyperian Wars/ Future Force Warrior mashup game that we’ve ever done, played over several evenings covering a couple of weeks. We weren’t entirely sure how this would work, but seeing as all three games have basically the same mechanics, we figured it at least should work to some extent. In fact it was a total blast, albeit a fairly one sided one in the end… it also provided some useful hints in terms of game development which will come in handy when we eventually get some more stuff self published. And we will, before the decade is out! X-D

We also managed to get a long running project finished, putting together the final touches to our 1/72 Ratmen army for Warhammer Fantasy, Age Of Sigmar, Age Of Fantasy, Hyperian Wars, Kings Of War and whatever else we find to amuse ourselves with.. the sky seemed the limit! And then… yeah, we all know what happened next. In order to keep some sense of perspective – COVID maybe a nasty vicious disease but it doesn’t turn it’s victims into flesh eating zombies – I ran a solo zombie game of Black Ops, our small unit higher detail version of Apocalypse: Earth (our “Kill Team” to A:E’s 40K, if you will) and we both got stuck into some painting projects to keep morale up as the pandemic surged. I got a rebel warband sorted for Grimdark Future while Dan, after being compelled to paint every surface in his house, went on a full on retro binge beginning his tribute to the Blood Angels army detailed in White Dwarf 139 back in 1991. Goblin Green bases, the works. A shout out here to Whittlesey40k who got in touch to offer us a set of decals for free!

Of course, Dan wouldn’t be Dan if he could just stick to one thing, so I must also point to his DIY Epic Imperial Guard, dedicated to recreating the army used in a Space Marine battle report using granny grating and vehicles built from foamboard… and I have to say, I absolutely love this, it’s one of the best things I’ve ever seen! Then there was the incident seeing the Caesar fantasy orcs on special offer… and of course the accidental purchase of some Tyranids which I now have custody!

Summer brought a bit of a respite and we dipped a toe into the waters of 40k’s 9th edition, rerunning the legendary “Battle At The Farm”, and we kicked off the GrimDark Future Fight Club, using 1000 point forces, and for a while all seemed well.. and then autumn happened. Temperatures dropped, infection rates started to soar and Lockdown II: The Revenge. I disappeared under mountains of risk assessments, and we both found ourselves afflicted with COVID blues as this situation just seemed endless. I managed to perk myself up creating some big polystyrene ruins inspired by – well, copied from, really – Midwinter Minis YouTube channel and Dan has been making steady and impressive progress with his Blood Angels, and we’ve got some plans to use them over the next few weeks using Zoom and some square or hex based systems….

So, looking to the future.. well, courtesy of the fine people at Pfizer, Moderna and Astra Zeneca we can at least expect to have a future, and we’re aiming to have a MASSIVE game to celebrate! I’ve fallen head over heels in love with Dan’s granny grating Imperial Guard and will have to make some supplementary forces, maybe have a crack at Eldar, Squats or Chaos.. oh, and I’ve still got a truckload of old Epic Orks to paint! Plus zombies – that was a really fun evening, and I think it will lend itself well to a remote game, and we can keep refining those rules for eventual publishing.

Oh, and let’s not forget Dan’s test piece for urban ruins – when we did the urban board, we did have the idea of a massive city fight in mind, and as we left our Apocalypse: Earth story after the D-Day anniversary in 2019 the Soviets had successfully established a foothold in Scotland and we did have a plan to fight the next stage in the sort-of campaign, the Battle Of Aberdeen! So there are many good things on the horizon, for now it’s simply a case of gritting teeth and keeping heads down until this bloody pandemic has finally run it’s course.. and it will.

See you in the pub come summertime.

Stay safe, stay sane, stay thrifty out there, this is almost done – and if anyone out there reading this was involved in the development of the vaccine, THANK YOU!!